"The Holiday" is a real nice movie...

missed it last dec...watched it today...

yupz...i think there's really something truly amazing abt this thing called 'love'...

well...dun think i'm gonna discover what's so amazing abt it anytime soon...but i think i have realized how foolish i am...gonna stop...shall attempt to...

but i guess the love remainz...somehow...i have avoided using the word...coz i used to think that it's complicated....but it seems only as complicated as how you want it to be...

for mine...it's really simple....unrequitted...and it stops there...nothing more...


i'm glad...for the memories...for knowing someone like her...

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌


我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

"我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口"

我怀念的 - 孙燕姿


think i should go get yanzi's new album soon...kinda like this song...becoz of the unique melody...


yupz...the 2 tests this week were over at last...so i gave myself a small break from the torturous work schedule....to play bball!!! yupz...since those chap in ntu jio-ed...though of late notice....and so...i skipped my last tut...and the late 4-5pm lecture...rushed home to grab my bball kit...and off to NIE...played in the indoor court....cool!

stress converting into pain...crampz developed in any place possible...i really think i am very weak these dayz...always either max myself out or got myself injured in sports....this time was no exception....man....almost developed a cramp my left leg...and nearly pulled my right...and i bleeded!!! yah...the old wound thatz healing got brushed against the floor again!...eekz....

i'm really a weak old man...no excuse....i think i need to run and exercise regularly...anyone wanna join me? well...probably after the examz...now that the examz are only weeks away....sigh...

didn't have the greatest of my game...afterall...the last time i played was in dec!!! so long ago!! didn't have much bball sense today...let alone any sharp shooter feel...the most helpful thing i could do was to run to good positions...and try not to lose the ball too easily...(well i still did lose many unnecessary possesion...) but it feels real good to reunite with those chapz from my bpghs bball team playing a game or two...talking cok here and there....hmm! those fond memories....


well...a friend told me she was feeling depressed...and cried...

my advice: cry as much as you feel like it....

and i really mean that...i'm not trying to be evil or wat...but i feel that there are times when you should just let your emotions run wild....let them take over control...let them do watever they want to you....

more often than not...we have been suppressing our emotions in one way or another....willingly or unwillingly...somehow....it has made the society a little fake...each of us wearing masks to conceal something hidden down under...not willing to show the true feelings...i'm guilty of that too....so...why not just let what has to be shown shown...and what has to be felt felt....

argh....how i wish there are pple who could advise me on wat to do....hmm...then again...there is nothing much i could do either....how i wish i can let this particular emotion of mine goes its way...to find the owner that it's seeking...but the other side of me is suppressing it...simply becoz rationality rulez over emotionality....at least for me...and there are some principles that i will not want to go against....oh well....自寻烦恼....


examz examz examz...i'm gonna sit down over the weekend to plan out some stuffs....and as well as to get those lagging webcasts....piling tutorialz and lab report done...need to kick start my revision soon! no time for hslx!

hmm....i feel like writing something down all of a sudden...though i dunno wat to write....

well...the stress is back to haunt....yup...it's alr week...erm...10? 11? ha/...i have really lost track of academic time...but i know there's a week with good friday...and another with friday the 13...and one reading week before exams....argh!...doing the math...it's week 11 this week! shiit...thatz like how little time i have to mug for the finalz....better get some ass-kicking done and do up a revision plan....ha...and before that...a holiday plan?!?!?! to serve as an incentive...(quoting ru de)...

well...lecture hrs seem to be passing slowly...coz the lecturers are either long winder...or too detailed...to the pt that many of the modules might not finish in time...examinable syllabus reduced? haha...i hope so....

hectic schedule every week...the usual assignmts are causing quite abit of headache...with no solns to refer to...and 2116 simply gets more complicated each day....

tests are not ending...even till the last day of sch...the good old friday 13....there's a test and an assignmnt due...

and not to forget....the 3121 assignmt 4...which is due 10th apr...


well....thatz soo soo much to be done....i'm really feeling a little stressed up...1st time having this feeling this sem...hmm...probably becoz of the fact that time is really running short...and even though i would love for this next month to be over soon...the true hell week is always that before the exams kick in....

gonna get back to the discusion room routine? hmm...but i need an quieter place this sem...so much to read....so little time...




argh...life sux in nus....

hmm...

我想 全世界的人都知道了吧...

只有你不知道...

okiez...i got so bored and annoyed of mugging for now...so many things to know....a test on tues and another on thurs....pdc is so...erm..i dunno how to say...'you tot you know your stuff...but when you do the qns...you anyhow...it seems right somehow...but it's actually wrong...' oh well...

part tech isn't any better....filtration is confusing...and once i sort it out...i forgot abt the sedimentation curves....and there is another chapter of centrifugal sedimentation and filtration...super sianz...

so now...i'm gonna have 阿展教华语 lesson 2:

愷 -- this word is pronounced as kai3....it's 繁体...the 简体 is actually '恺'....
meaning: 快乐; 和乐....happy happy....
yah....strange huh...the 繁体 got a 豆 and 简体 becomes a 己....haha...i also dunno why....gosh...i think i am getting so boliaoz....










------













璘 -- pronounced as lin2...it refers to the glow of jade.....玉的光彩...














hmm.....the 2 characters put together? well they mean nothing.....just the name of someone....



a very elegant name....and cheerful....i think the name really suits her....

"an average person in the United States eats 10 pounds (4.5 kg) of chocolate every year"

搁浅 as in ge1 qian3

the original meaning is for a ship that enters shallow water...where it can hardly move anymore...




:: 搁浅 - jay

haha...okayz...here's something new...

dawn has her 'dawnhawn hao jie shao' in her blog.....now i'm gonna start my 'ah zhan jiao hua yu' ( 阿展教华语)...

today...i shall introduce to you this phrase 搁浅...

okie...i think most pple would have alr known what it means...but for me...i just discovered its meaning a few days back....yah...even though i know jay chou have a song title as this....

alrite....搁浅 just means that something encounters some problem and couldn't continue on its original course....

a.k.a encounter obstacles...yah! something along that line


"风筝在阴天搁浅
想念还在等待救援"

that means the kite which originally is flying well in a sunny weather...but when the gloomy clouds gathered...it begins to have trouble flying up high....

haha...cool!

my chinese is getting powerful! lolz....

i think i'm too persistent when it comes to relationship...it's really hard for me to not like someone once i have decided to like her...

probably thatz becoz i dun usually like someone very easily...

and when i dun allow myself to fall too often...a once-in-a-blue-moon fall will really cripple me quite heavily...

as of now...look at me....i sprained my ankle!!! haha...okiez..this is quite lame...literally...


but on a serious note...how i wish i can learn to let things go more easily....that would really save myself alot of unnecessary trouble....

get high!


be happy...there is really no reason for sadness...

"爱情好像流沙 明知该躲它
无法自拔 OH BABY 是我太傻"

流沙 --- 陶喆



another classic song that i have grown to like....

我爱上了你的名字....

i wonder why do i wake up almost everyday feeling that i miss her so much...

it's a sucky feeling...to know that i miss her but she doesn't...and she would most probably be thinking of someone else instead...

argh...i'm beginning to hate sleeping...coz i know i would wake up with the dreadful feeling...

wondering when will it stop totally....it's eating me away slowly...sigh...

but at least there's one thing to be glad abt...that the recovery time is shortening...i still dread waking up in the morning...but i get okay within a faster period these dayz...




te quiero....

"痛是什麽感觉
是想呐喊却无言
心被你一片一片
撕下还不肯破裂"

---- 我以为



"听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁"

---- 最近



"在爱情的隔壁住友情
界线太锐利
对不起就一刀切开所有亲密....
....
眼底星空
流星开始坠落
每一滴眼泪说着你要好好走"

---- 眼底星空



"在我眼里你永远最美
连你一个微笑也都会让我醉
你所谓的幸福我想给
以为手不放开就是痴心绝对
太愚昧"

---- 很想说



"有多少爱能重来
多少人愿意等待
失去之后才明白"

---- 重来



the 2nd album? still good!

i think 李圣杰's songs kinda appeal to me....i shall go k his songs someday!

"带我远走高飞
不去理会
这一个蜚短流长的世界布满虚伪"

---- 远走高飞


"为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪"

---- 痴心绝对


"我好想她
现在好吗
旧画面还在记忆里挣扎
那年的夏结束时说的话
一直不能放下"

---- 我懂了她


"守着你的誓言风在笑
抱着你的回忆泪在掉
舍不得你走掉
你走了"

---- 你走了


"你们要快乐要天长地久
你们没有错爱是自由
走出这扇门后至少我还有辽阔
你们要快乐要紧紧牵手
你们不幸福我会难过
成全最爱的人不是为了看着她
寂寞"

---- 你们要快乐


"最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像候车月台有人走有人来
我的心是一个站牌写着等待"

---- 手放开


the previous album was very good! i realize....

haha...and yah...i got tonnes of beer at home...who wans? i can share with them.... =)

leftovers after cny...my dad sure bought alot!

went running tonight....finally...after so much procrastinating...hmm..wonder why everytime when i am resolved to run...i would be at my down period...

went on a slightly different route tonight...ran to stagmont ring and went across the railway track...and along woodlands road all the way until i reached bukit panjang...i just felt like going there for awhile...there are memories of the place...and i dun foresee myself going there in anytime near...and i would do wat i can to not go that place unnecessarily....

the run was good...along a lonely road with cars that speed pass at high speed...with deemly lit pathway...apart from the usual stitches....it's serenity...

really feel like playing bball....last sat couldn't manage to get eneough pple...so didn't play in the end...but i would really like to get some shots at the hoop...it just feels good to do something you are good at i guess...


rough patch?...difficult phase?...maybe

but to think abt it...actually nothing has ever changed recently...it's just me and my hslx at work again....

i guess i would have to emerge strong....no point indulging in my self-sympathy....pointless!


gonna hide away from someone...i need to be brutal to myself...in order to get over....

focus focus focus!!! studies more impt!!!!

hmm....i wanna laugh at my own stupidity....

after 2 cans of beer...went to bed...felt the need to go toilet...and unknowingly...the next moment i woke up...i was lying on the floor in the toilet...

yupz...fainted...i think i knocked my head against something...feel a bump and some pain now...

then i fainted again once more...yesh...in the toilet still...

luckily...didn't wake anyone up and my brother wasn't alerted....

shall keep this as a secret here....one that i share with my viewers?



i know! i know! i am very foolish....to have gobble down the 2nd can so fast that i felt like puking...

haha...i promise myself that there wun be a 2nd time that this would happen again....


beers are for happy occasions!

"muz be more happy"

haha...yah...but i find it hard to do it myself....

ouch! it hurts to know what a small world it is...

tat everything is so coincidental...

tat everything seems to revolve around a small space in NUS...








that i actualli know her bf...

that i was actualli on quite good terms with her bf during bmt dayz...

that he is actually her bf...

that everything happens within a year....

that a year back....nothing has happened....




sigh...i dunno why i feel so sad/...i alr know that a bf exists...but finally knowing who's that guy...and knowing that guy personally....i just feel strange....


i feel that i shouldn't be even talking to her anymore...i dun wanna get in between 2 friends...


maybe this will make me resolved in moving on...i can't stay on anymore...coz there are things that are against my principles....and no matter how much i wish to do it....i can't bring myself to do that....

argh...

专属天使 just left...the void is left to be filled again...

i can't allow 非你莫属 to be applicable anymore...




hong keat told me to keep listening to 专属天使 and hopefully i will find mine...i had designated mine..but it can't stay....gonna leave the position empty again....i hope i can!





okay....zs! buck up! sad times are really too often...

learn to smile and say "you're the best!"

"是你让我
再次接近爱的感觉

填补那伤痕的过去


谢谢你
给我这份幸福"



so touching....

非你莫属...感动版...




and 非你莫属...悲伤版...

hmm...winnie the pooh...tigger....disney series....

chocz....but not sweetz...

605 ....19....

it's so not cool to make some nasty remarks on pple's tagboard and not revealing who you are...

removed the msg anyway...

if the anonymous person saw this...please....if you wanna badmouth me directly...at least let me know who you are? and i would kindly allow your spam on the tagboard...

seriously...it's hurtful...and unkind...

i feel good today...woke up from a nice dream...started on a bright note...though the tutz and the lab report were tormenting...but these are things that have to be done...another new week ahead...gonna start slogging at those books soon...have taken quite a long break...

and to think that the final exams are only about a month plus from now...plus i haven't really know how to use matlab...i really need to start pressing the panic button...

expectations are there...yes...they are scary...but i think i have to live with them...perhaps i dun have to answer to those pple...but i need to ans to myself....

yep...perhaps time is not the best medicine...but for now...it seems to be the ONLY medicine...

maybe i shouldn't have talked to you on tues (msn)...somehow...i didn't feel good when i heard that you were in a bad mood...yes...i was concerned unknowingly...i wondered what could i do to make you feel better....but i realize i couldn't really do much...i just hoped that by merely being there and talking to you for the night could make you feel better...

i am foolish...that i have been 动摇 again...it took me so long to accept the fact...but now, i feel that i am back to who i was a few months back...okiez...i need a few more dayz to tune back...



went billiarding last night...with pj and kokz...it's funz...though i wasn't very accurate...but i still had some fair meagre share of my stroking streak....but being with those chaps are always funz larz...

saw someone that looked very familiar there...a gal...some jc friend that i haven't been keeping in touch with for many years...but i wasn't very sure if it's her...afterall, i haven't seen her since prom...and thatz like abt 4 years already...hmm...that gal's name is jasmine...didn't dare to approach and confirm...coz i paiseh...haha...so many guys there...i scare the guys would think that i was trying to pick up their galfriend and i would end up being bashed...

the sight of her evoked some jc memories....for some reasons that perhaps some of you should know...but i'm not gonna say it here....coz it's already the past...

and now, i'm trying to make my present here a 'past' also...so that i can carry on...

i realize i have a life of my own to live...i cant be always thinking of someone tat i shouldn't...coz i know she would never do the same...

hongwei told me that if there's a gal that he likes...whether or not he can be wth her....he would do anything to improve her overall well-being...i think thatz very 伟大...and all i can do now is probably just that...but no! i dun wanna be 伟大...but i just feel that there are things that i wanna do for her...but then again...what i can do as a friend is limited...

so gal...talk to me when you're feeling down...i can't do much...but i will always be here as a friend....

i'll do everything i can to put that smile on thy face....this i promise you...


(oopz....i have been seeing this phrase " this i promise you" so often these dayz....wonder why also)

if time was really the soln to everything....tell me when will my problem be solved....

pardon me....i'm not really in the mood to talk....

it's one of those dayz that i dun feel like talking and doing anything...plain tired and moody...also dunno why...but i was still okay in the morning...

hmm...might be becoz of the lab...the titration sux...results aint accurate...and the smell made me had a slight headache...i even took a big sniff at the 'dunno-how-to-describe' smell accidentally when i tot the conical flask i was holding was clean...argh....

didn't have a very good sleep last night...tat probably contributed to the lethargic feeling...

had a late lunch at 4 plus after lab...then went home to sleep...all the way till 8pm...lazy....

and so easily irritated by the slightest noise that my mum is so capable of making..haha..but i didn't think i lose my temper...merely complained that she was disturbing my rest...then someone closed my bedroom door for me...lolz...

i think i should restore the 'cinderella' routine soon...12 am still looks a good time to stop all work//...

yah...

"小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂"

-- ☆专属天使- tank☆

幸福 - something that you should learn to treasure once you found it....

keep it safe with you! don't lost it!

dun let anything affect your 心情...you are to feel happy...






coz i wun allow you to feel sad....

张韶涵 has a very high screechy voice...dun particular like her songs...but there are a few that are unique....


"现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落"

-- 其实很爱你 - 张韶涵

okay...i shall do the tagging game that guang tagged me some time ago..

here it goes....

Instructions:

This is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game. Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.

1. hmmz...it's kinda hard to start off...weird things...ermz...okay....actually...i dunno what exactly does a chem engineer do until i came to NUS...i was kinda ignorant during that time and didn't know what i want...so chem eng seems to be the option as many pple hold it in high regards...not too bad a choice...coz i got to know so many 'loving' friends here...

2. everyone says me and my brother (2 yrs older) look alike...which i dun think so...from young....we have been mistaken for each other and even till now...some of the not-so-often-seen-relatives still can't differentiate between the 2...and i hate it to be mistaken for my brother...coz me and him are really a hell lot of differences...my closer friends should kown that....

3. been in love once...secondary 4....had a crush in jc...and a few (abt 2) for my near 2 yrs in NUS...status as of now: single...

4. 1st kiss was in sec 4 also (abt 16-17 yrs old?) shhz...dun tell other pple...haha...well...and i agree with guang that hugz and kissez are addictive....but i dun have such habitz coz nothing permits me to adopt them...haha..instead...got the habit of hslx (as many of you should have known by now....hslx == 胡思乱想) yahz...quite good at it...always think so much...always give myself unnecessary problems...

5. have strong cravings for jap soba and those ramen stuff....i love the soups...jap and korean food tend to be more strong flavored as compared to chinese (i think so)...love taiwanese delicacies too! haha...and chocz!!! Royce Nama champagne!!! fave... swiss choc taste good too! and actually...i quite like meiji brand chocz also...any decent dark chocolatez are good for my sweet tooth....

6. i am quite anti-gay.....lesbianz are fine though...they actually look kinda sexy..haha...well it's psychological...i think gals that dance are sexy too! they are confident abt their own body......
i like gals with long hair...and small eyes....i think single eyelid gals look cute....


okiez....i tink i dun sound weird enough...but well...at least these are 6 more pointers to "ZS1101E - know-zs-better "....


tagging:

yanz
ah yu
(i nvr MIA liaoz...i only abt 8 dayz nvr blog only...quite buzi last week mahz)

shiyao
hongkeat
ghimsong
andy
(sorry dudez...i can't think of pple who blog already....limited supply of friends... :P)

okay...finally have some time to sit down in front of my comp to do some blogging...

last last week has been kinda holiday...yahz...chinese new year..didn't have much mood to mug...but still i did force myself to go down to sch on 初四 to study with hong keat, ru de, guo wei and zhihao...didn't do much also...coz that day was my dad'z bday!!! so went off earlier coz wanna have dinner with my family...it has somehow become a tradition tat on my parents' bday or father's day or mother's day...me and my brother will just treat them to a dinner...they decide the place...haha...okiez...when we start earning money...we would decide the place also...imagine in the years to come...fillial zs and his brother driving their parents down to some decent restaurant to have a feast...(haha...imagine hard! it's not impossible! i'm very 孝顺 one...keke~)

okiez...my luck till 初七 was still quite good...my father-side relatives came to our house on sat...played mahjong again...with my brother..my cousin and her bf...oppz...won again...i'm like the only winner...

tat roughly summed up the cny week...


last week has been kind of a hell for me...and everyone...3 tests and 3 assignments due...good thing that i did most part of the assignments before the start of last week...got more time to revise for those tests...

and so...the tests came...one by one...tues was PDC...abit buanged for the test...coz i wasn't very careful...4 qns in total...1 confirm get wrong...the other one pending.....but for the easiest part of that qn...i dunno how to do!!! wat the heck right...haha...well...zs is fallible...

nvm...thatz over...

friday's test was kinda a breeze...too easy for everyone...so many hints given by the paper and even the lecturer himself..."refer to WWWR eqn 18.9...." dun wanna use that eqn also cannot....yah...plus it's more like an open discussion than a test...blatantly comparing ans with each other...and when you were sitting with 2 persons that have to use the same set of parameter values...it's hard not to compare results....

(okay...to explain the parameter values part...the lecturer came up with this rule that those with the same last digit of the matric number will use the same values from a set of different values for each qn)

yahz...and coincidentally, i was sitting with 2 other pple with the same ending digit on our matric...

and today(sat)...2116 test...10 mcqs...with students packed in a small LT...again...discussion was on-going thru out the test...

argh...okay//...i feel guilty...coz i have been involved in these discussions...

hmm...and talking abt integrity...i'm afraid to say that there isn't much left in today's pple (me inclusive)....well...a value so much emphasised in OCS...with army personel talking abt it everyday...and the nerdy OCT reciting it whenever they drink some h20....where has it gone to?

hmm...i personally feel that 'integrity' is a value that pple talk abt...not many who talk abt them actually practise them anymore...yahz...the world has become so 'fake'....hypocritez who say one thing but act totally differently...

and so here i am...telling the world that yes...i was involved in those discussions...does that means i dun have integrity? i leave it to you to decide...all i can say is that by squeezing the students in an LT for tests...the prof should already know such thing will happen...if they really wanna prevent it...they should have booked some better venues like wat PDC did...in MPSH...

this wasn't an issue in yr 1...even if the tests were carried out in LT...the meticulous lecturers actually bother to book more LTs and come up with a proper sitting plan to make sure the students are spaced out...

but as the year passes...these lecturers that teach higher level modules aint exercising such practise...is that they simply don't bother? or they can't make some arrangement? are they too tied down to their research work? Is lecturing the undergrad their part time job in NUS? i dun wish to say more abt these high salary 'educators' ( look at Uddin!!! i believe any student in chem eng can deliver a lect better than him...)

so...wat i wanna say is that the NUS culture is alr wrong to begin with...with lecturers that couldn't very much be bothered (okay..there are some that are really good also! i will give credits to them...) and wat abt the culture of referencing seniors' lab report? okay..tatz still not too bad if we bother to look thru the reports, understand...and try to churn out another one that looks similar...there is effort, at least, to learn from previous work....aint this wat many nobel prize winners did in the past? look at predecessor's research work...analyze...enhance....and come up with an even better thesis/theory...

okay...this is another pt that i wanna bring out...if there is learning values in something....it's not totally bad also.....secret discussions in test? hmm...any learning values? personally...i think 'yes'...pls note that these pple are not blindly copying from some scholarly persons...(i think most of them are sensible enough as young adults to exercise their own discerning abt which ans should be correct...) yupz...these chap aint totally 'shiit'...they think and finally make their own decision...they are not blinds that need someone to be their 'walking stick'....in fact...even blind pple are so independent these dayz....

and so if your integrity is to not peep around during tests...so be it...i honor that and respect you for it...coz i seriously admire pple who put their principles into practice....

hmm...wat a touchy issue...but it's open for discussion here...no offence to anyone...(well...i dun really care if i offended ah uddin....f him!)


next up...another issue....abt the pressure that i feel...other pple's expectations that i feel that i'm living with....argh! why is everyone expecting that i have the best solutions to all the assignment questions? and that i should know how to do the test qns? ARGH!!!! do i have to announce to the entire world that i'm NOBODY!!!! just in case you all dunno...

okay...i feel honored to be held in high regards by you pple...but pls dun show your respect for me by photocopying my solns and refer to them as the 'full-marks' solutions...i'm merely a undergrad chap that dislike last minute work and so, often do assignments that have to be handed in abit earlier than you pple...i'm not 神 ....i do feel stupid at times...

and shouldn't we be learning together? and helping each other out...i always believe in the synergy of discussionz....

i think i'm gonna end off here...




hongwei is right to say that now that i'm abit more free...i will start to think about some other 'issue'...and give myself some other problem...well...i vow to reduce these to the minimum!!!

yah man...to all my fellow followerz....it has really been some time since i last blogged...been buzy with 03 x tests and 03 x assignments this week...


stay tune! will be back soon!