argh....running nose...

how many fools are there in this world?

i am one! who else?

hmm...feel like penning something down...but dunno wat to write...

went to look for my 1st uncle with my parents and brother...in farrer road area...

well...so my father, mother and uncle went on to chit chat while eating our dinner at this 猪什汤 stall which is owned by my uncle's friend....free dinner..hoho...

hmm..heard abit abt my other uncles and their families...

2nd uncle goes in debt again...not too sure the reason...but think it's something to do with gambling...not in heavy debt though...but my 2nd aunt is of coz not happy...heard that she wants a divorce...sigh...this has happened many times in fact...why can't they treasure each other more? i mean, it's really fate that brings the 2 of them together...i believe there is really nothing that can pull the relationship apart if both try to empathize with each other...share their woes and joys...

3rd uncle has been jobless for a long time...ever since he recovered from his cancer...now living on his cpf which is fast depleting...and my 3rd aunt has to bear the entire burden of the household...and my poor cousin has only just finished o levels...it isn't hard to find a decent job...in fact, my relatives have recommended some but he is too picky...either pay too low...or the job too 'degrading'...well...a cleaner's job isn't degrading if you do it with dignity...afterall, at his age...he can't be too picky....he still has a child to raise...a family to take care of...being idle at home is so irresponsible...


comparing to these...i really feel that i'm fortunate to have my family...yes...there are always quarrels...in fact...i have a cute mother and father who never fail to anger each other...but thatz 情趣...haha...no serious arguments...just some sparks to spice the dull life up abit...okay...i have got an attitude brother...looks like ah beng...walks like ah beng...talks like ah beng....but really...he knows whats right and whats wrong...

my whole family got attitude...thats just in the genes bah....i admit i also very attitude...but we know when to pull the trigger and when to hold back...this is perhaps what i call 做人的道理...haha



sigh...why is my mind so preoccupied with thoughts abt her?...every word that was said...every msg that was sent...why do i refuse to let go? why do i insist on trapping myself? why don't i set myself free?

maybe my heart is locked...and you are holding on to the only key that can set it free...

the guys

the galz

me doing the 'blowjob'!!! wahaha

jas and yanz

ah cai jas and yee (whatz with jas' tongue?)

jia ah cai and yee (they like to 自拍)

the best shot of the night (look at kokz chaiz expression!!!)

jj and kokz getting all comfortable in my bed while me, pj and taoz took turns to tag team eng to the world cup...oh...and yanz at my laptop...and jia taking the pic....



alrite...these sum up what happened on 24th...cool...

now that the jb outing has been realized...i dun think there will be anymore lunch...

hmm...perhaps it's better this way...

thankz for the present...really appreciated the tot...the fact that you remember something i told you back in sept...thank you...

that warms my heart...

okay....this is my result for year 2 sem 1...good? or bad? hmm...i dun haf an answer to that...but i think i ought to feel contented...

to be frank..i dunno wat to expect? if i were to expect any expectations...they will be super high...i would want the A- to be an A...and the B+ to be an A-...but tat would be abit too greedy...

okay...i'm am slightly disappointed for organic chem...i tot it's a confirmed A after the paper...apparently my unorthodox synthesis might not have been credited...

biochem is really...the i-dunno-wat-to-expect module...A for the 60% CA...then B+ for overall...i think i shouldn't complain abt this...

so...cap's maintained....in fact..there's a slight value addedness of 0.03...haha...this marks the end to chem eng yr2 sem 1....there are still many mountains ahead to be conquered....

next sem will be another fight to remain in 1st class range...

ganbatte!!!

24th Dec 2006 - xmas eve was so funz...thankz everyone for coming...i hope everyone has enjoyed yourself like i do...i hope everyone will have his/her dream come true...

though when i was making my wish...my mind wasn't really thinking...but vaguely...i know the utmost thing that i have always hope for...not that i dun haf it...but i tend to let it go so easily...shall start learning to treasure it....the thing called 'happiness'...对自己好一点吧!!!

okiez...shall load some picz that i took with my phone...the bulk of the picz are still with yanz...

zhihong and pj teaming up in 'pro evo'

me with jia and the magic wand ....to compensate for not taking photo with her tat night @ PS (while i took one with craig)

jj ransacking my comic and craig

me and my 'galz'..haha...hmm...my face looks long...

hee...so happy to have a bunch of frenz who are willing to sacrifice a night out to countdown and spend time with me at home...i'm blessed...thankz!!!! and thankz for the pressiez....i love them!

i'm the official 'kira' now!!! i'm JUSTICE!!!! wahaha...hmm...whose name shall i write?!?!?!

thankz jas, for the pictorial book...though i have it already...and thankz for writing my name wrongly after being friends for so long (hmm...8 years?)

it's 展圣...圣诞的"圣"...and the signatures look so fake...your chinese really sux...haha...thankz!!!

thankz yanz, for the 'sicko' bottle...to replace the previous one that i lost in LT5!!! haha...oh yah...and thankz for the card too! will 对朋友好一点的...but i can't guarantee that you are included...we are impossible friends mahz...haha 谢了...

thankz jia, for the 'magic wand'...now i need someone to use it to message my back for me...

thankz tao, for coming even it's already so late and you were already tired...and thanks for bringing me a gift too! now i can place my pens neatly at my study desk...thankz....

thank you all once again...oh...what should i do with the 'piss-with-blood' ? haha...sounds super gross...but thatz wat craig calls it...i shall bring it to the next gathering ba...provided i dun bottom it up myself...

and of coz...not forgetting my dear dear friends who make an effort to come and 陪我...

thankz pj for coming early to play network fm07 with me...haha...chelsea so strong...wah lau...

thankz jj for bringing your ps2 along so that we could pro evo thru out the night...

thankz kokz...for helping me clinch my 1st victory in the game with turkey!!

thankz yee and zhihong for coming...

oh yah...thankz for the cake!!!


and thankz for all those who sent me smses and had me in your heart...heez...sounds abit bhb...

anyway...it's really a wonderful xmas eve...心情是开心的



and thank you for msging...it's a little bit sweet of you...and when i said it's the tot that counts....i really mean it...是有一点点被感动到...好高兴 that you have tot of me...




how wonderful it is to be shopping for xmas gifts for someone that you care...i didn't do any xmas shopping this year...not in the mood to shop...and i dunno wat to buy for my friends....i dunno if i should get anything for you...

how about a post-xmas gift?

=)



still kinda tired...maybe i shall get some more sleep...

多想化成隐形的人 掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温 好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人 隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界 留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

隐形人 - 孙燕姿

thank you for remembering...i appreciate tat so much...

thank you!

man...i shouldn't have slept in the evening...

22nd dec...3 more dayz to xmas! and it somehow marks the end of this week...i doubt you would be free on sat and sun...

and so...the waiting shall end...i'm foolish enough to wait...to try to free up noon time each day...anticipating a msg from you...just becoz you said you will let me know when you were free this week....apparently, you weren't free enough for me...i understand that...

but i have already somehow expected you not sms-ing...coz i know i'm less than a friend...and i know i'm just a bypasser...someone insignificant...

but still...thanks for giving me an empty hope...

有一点点失望...but thatz just for me...

haha...sometimes...i really think that i'm the world's biggest fool...clinging of something tatz so fragile...remembering every single conversation that we had...sigh...but is it so hard to just be friends? maybe i, myself am not ready to treat you as just a friend...no matter how hard i try to deceive myself...

maybe it's better this way...i shall once again learn to forget...let everything just be washed away by the rain...let all memories of you be gone with the wind...before anything gets too rooted in my heart...


christmas is here....对自己好一点吧!!

歌曲：平常心

歌手：张惠妹

街道静的刺耳
夜被路灯染色
趁感伤醒来前
先上车不会不舍
承认我是弱者
不敢再对爱假设
我真的累得不想再拉扯
我寻找的平静
是我将来看电影
带着一颗平常心
不必为谁心碎闭上眼睛
我需要的平静
是敢回头看曾经
那些为爱患得患失的情景
我选择忘记
我不懂得取舍
才让心痛堆着
找得到前些年
的快乐只是偶尔
回忆是个诱饵
是来叫我回去的
要伤能愈合
我非走不可

it's 2am andthe rain is still pouring...
the perfect weather to just hide under the blanket and get into lalaland...
but here i am, still blogging and haven't sleep...
something's on my mind...i wanna clear it off but it seems to hinge on so tightly...

sigh...

人果然是犯贱的...keeping trouble for himself...

我讨厌雨天...

i ought to be sleeping now! tmr still got billiard session with the guys...

lets hope the tide subside fast...and the foolish can stop holding on to false hope...
lets hope a brand new year brings in brand new happiness...


if there is one thing the rain could do....pls pls...wash away all the sorrows....self-inflicted sorrows...

Tank - 专属天使


wonder who's gonna be my 专属天使？

the rain didn't stop today...i guess i didn't stop thinking also...of some stuff that i shouldn't...gloomy weather so gets me into the saddened mood...

well...tmr's gonna be a shiny day...isn't it?

Mr Sun....stop skiving!!!

just finished watching 'cars'...感触很深....didn't know nowadays animated movies have so much meaningful msg to convey....you guys should watch it...

a promise to a friend...hmm...wonder how many pple will keep to their promise to just a friend...well...thatz the least i can ask for...to keep tat promise...

::: confirmation :::

okay...apparently...my blog msg and email didn't take any effects...so here i am finalizing the details for 24th...

pple who's gonna appear on that fateful day: me, pj, yanz, yu, jia, cai, craig, jas, yee and zhihong, and kokz (unless he makes up he mind on certain things), jj (for night activities), taoz(playing cinderella..will appear after midnight)...

only tiongz i'm not sure....coz i also dunno who wanna stay over...


okiez...my mum will cook some food...but pls do bring some on your own....i know jas is dying to 'poison' us with some of her cookings...

okiez....ntertainment...you all wan ps2 or xbox? both i also dun haf...haha...but if wan xbox...ask craig or yan or jia....if wan ps2...ask pj or tao or jj....haha...i'm that poor...cannot afford a gamestation....

regarding stayover...who dun haf home to go back to can stay...can tok cok...can drink...can play mahjong...can play games...can do anything so long as they wun alarm the police....

whatz more...timing...let me know roughly wat time you all coming also larz....preferably not so earli? abt late noon or wat? just liaise with your jie-meiz-men and inform me...dun wan you all to come at wrong time only to hit the wall and wait....

oh yah....and for anyone who see this...pls spread the msg like how rumours spread okay? thankz....i'm lazy to sms...

too lazy to blog...these are some pictures from yesterday!!!
a picture speaks a thousand words....so i guess there are a few thousands le wor....happy reading...

one more thing....i think ah cai mentioned something abt gift exchange? you all wanna do it? haha...it slips off my mind just now...

shaggerz take note!!!!

okay shaggerz...regarding 24th right...need to confirm some stuff 1st...

people who confirm can: ah yu, ah cai, pj, jas, me, yanz, jia, craig
people who coming later: ah lu(taoz) coz he got caroling until after midnight
people who 佳人有约: tiongz and kokz (maybe)
people who cannot confirm till now: yee
people who simply refuse to reply: jj


anyway...can stayover at my house if you all want and dun find it too boring...as usual lorz...my hse big big...empty empty...bring your only forms of entertainment...coz i only have mahjong and a very old ps1 without games....

got a new tv...but the home theatre system dying...but still can blast some noisy larz...

got laptop with many many 'illegal stuffs'....

got me....my parents and maybe my brother....

got wine...liquor but limited supply...and availability is subjected to my mood...haa


as for the food...there are a few suggestions larz...

1. buffet catering - been looking thru some...but most decent meals catering for xmas are min 20-30pax...dun haf so much pple...there are some xmas packages that are stated to be of abt 10plus pple larz...but apparently...i dun think the quantity is enough...

chk out the Xmas Party Pack @328 nett (8-10 pax)
http://www.akkitchen.com.sg/

or this chinese 8 course meal (Mum's kitchen)
http://www.mumskitchen.com.sg/Menu6b.asp

or kriston
http://www.kriston.com/


2. byof (a.k.a bring your own food) - well...as the name suggest...

3. cyof (cooking!!! use my kitchen!!!! includes cleaning up of coz)

4. ask auntie to cook something - auntie is of coz...my mum...but 你们忍心吗? haha...kidding larz..can always cook some simple brainless dishes i guess...


so i will need some feedback...comments...confirmations...if not order mac delivery...or own self go downstair 'dabao' before results release(for those taken exams)....

i need inputs!!!! pls pls pls....other suggestions are warmly welcomed...can also go out...

democratic society needs proactive citizens....we dun practise dictatorship....there is no opression or whatsoever...freedom of speech is allowed...at least in my blog...but dun aim anything at the 'garment'....too directly...

well...so i expect some positive and healthy and helpful suggestions huh...if not...it's 'lonely lonely christmas' le...

alrite...hope to hear something from you guys....

开朗病!!! been watching abit of 宫 lately...coz the other time round...when it's shown on tv...i didn't really follow the show...only caught a glimpse of it here and there...thought the show was quite good then...but as i watch it now...well...the story development was abit slow...quite draggy...and there are many scenes that is so 'inner-emotions'...内心戏...

申彩静 was so 'ke lian'...hmm....kept crying...(oh...i mean she kept crying...not me...)
is it really that hard to express one's feeling? i believe for some people...it's a definite 'yes'...

日久生情...such things do happen in real life ba...it all boils down to how much you wanna get to know that someone...and how much you allow yourself to fall....

shall complete the show in the week to come ba...more teary scenes...tangled emotions and relations....

-------

was going thru my mp3 collections lately...browsing thru my S.H.E vcds and dvds...

"我爱你" is a very touching song...you should view the 13 min full MV...the story is damn touching larz...40年的约定...maybe, this is watz called true love...

"無論是遠近 什麼世紀 在天堂擁抱 或荒野流離"

some other photos....

the 'old' and the 'new'

the first christmas cum bday gift that i bought for myself...sony ericsson K800i...yupz...not the 1st choice that i sought for...was actually looking at W850i...but the black color one is out of stock...so i decided to settle for the 2nd choice...a cybershot phone...3.2 megapixel camera...

quite simple to use...user-friendly interface...attractive phone themes...

well...still trying to get used to the buttoms...since i have been meddling with my O2 Xphone II for the past 2 years...yupz...such a long time since i last changed phone...

sort of a reward for myself ba...afterall...christmas is a shopping season, isn't it? haha...

farewell...O2...

okiez...the K800i is abit larger in size...but i like the design still...from the back...it looks like a cybershot digital camera...and from the front...it's a decent candy bar phone...

thought of getting a slider or clamshell phone...but too bad....hee...shall stay with this phone for quite some time before i change again....

meanwhile...lets haf fun take shots everywhere!!!!

a week of the holidayz has past...i feel like i'm wasting my life away...no agenda...no to-do-list...

totally free to do whatever i want...free to not do anything at all...

went for a run just now...jog all the way to teck whye (as usual, if i ever get my feets to run)...i felt the need to run...to feel myself breathing...to feel the 'stitches' (not sure if it's spelled this way)...i just need to feel some aches here and there...to know that i'm still 'alive'...

okay....just some random tots generating as i allow my selected list of sun yanzi's and S.H.E's songs run ....

non-chalant...i guess i've learnt to see things...feel things...but not to express what i feel...an observer...a listener...but not an expressionist...i may seem to be not paying attention...but actually...i'm listening attentively...

scare of commitments...ever since dunno when...i feel the fear of being committed to something...someone...dun wanna be involved in anything that concerns too many people...dun wanna get tangled into complicated human relations...i really dun wanna care too much about these....hmm...some people may term it as 'irresponsible'...but i think otherwise....to me at this moment....i just don't wanna take up any responsibilities...in fact...i'm a totally committed and fully responsible chap...if i ever decide to take up something and be in charge of it....but the twists and turns in life are so 'merciless' that i have learnt to take up less responsibilities...so as to feel less regretful when you promise but fail to deliver...when you take so much pain in organising something and yet, you are unappreciated and people simply care about themselves...perhaps, this explains why i seldom organise any outings...coz i dun like replies such as 'see how', 'tell me who are going first?'....i would very much prefer to be the person being asked (not organise) and reply 'oh...i'm free...will be there...'

leadership...talking about leadership (hey....i'm a LTA okay?!?!?!?!)...well...i can only say that i dun really think about leadership amongst peers...it's true that we can influence each other's decisions...but to tkae control and lead outright...i will still feel strange...which is why i am so 'anything' ....it's called 随和 ba...always putting others before you....afterall...many of these are not life-threatening decisions...they are just minute events of life like 'where to go?', 'what to do?', ' what to eat?'...

so i guess i'm not a crowd pleaser...not an attention seeker...

i'm just a simple guy who is always making things seem more complicated...erm...a complex guy wanting to be simple? maybe....

wow...a rather long post...it's been some time since i seriously sat down and penned my thoughts...



"你往北 向南说再见"
- 候鸟 S.H.E

one of my fave S.H.E's songs....



hmm....a few of my uni frenz are flying off to vietnam for YEP soon...coming monday i think...well...ru de..hong keat...andy...and some of the others that i'm still not very close with (people like lianghan and kang jie)..well anyway.....may all of you have a fruitful trip....bon voyage!!!! and do take care!

i'm the devil

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

ALL OUT OF LOVE

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

you dun need a reason to be nice....just a cause will do...

watz the difference b/w a 'reason' and a 'cause' then?

doing the 'waiting-hair-to-dry-blog-post'...something that i have not done for quite some time...yeah...

just came home from some outing...with acqua og...yah...went minds cafe...played some games...well....it's a pretty noisy place over there...the fact that it's a wednesday afternoon that we went...yah...it's freaking noisy...maybe we weren't noisy enough to fight the rest...coz if went with shaggerz...i think no one can 'qie' us...(right, craig?)...

hmm...the games were so-so...i thought the staff there could have been better...not particularly impressed....think settlers or pitstop are still better...and isn't it all abt playing games and having fun there? dun need to get so competitive right? haa....sometimes...little things just tell so much abt a person...

hmm...okay...so we played our 5 bucks while of happy hours and free flow drink....then off we went to PS...loiter again until ryan and fred came...had Ajisen for dinner....yummy...i love the ramen...haha...then after that...loiter somemore and watched 'Deja Vu'....ridiculous show....but it's amazing how it makes you wanna think and try to link those details up together....but it's so 'crap'...maybe a futuristic view of the world...human interfering with time dimension...playing god...but i still think everything is destined....it's all written...like a script...unless the director or producer wanna have a change...

christmas....angels are singing....but not for me...

strangely...but the loss feeling is back...coz the emptiness in me is never filled...i need to keep myself preoccupied...i need to be busy....to fill the void in me....

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

oh yah...some recent update of my home.....the new tv in the living room! hee....my father bought it...

4th dec...the official opening ceremony for the dec holidayz for me....yeah!!!

finally...tidied up my room today...i'm so proud of myself...though not a very thorough cleaning...but it's just phase one...shall continue somemore tmr...haa

finally ate LJS this afternoon....alone though...well...i guess it's about time to start anew...zs has grown up again...nothing can defeat him...

palns for the hols? no concrete one....shall continue teaching tuition...slack and play...play and sleep....sleep and watch vcd...watch and watch...watch and watch...once in a while go jog or swim....waiting for chance to play badminton and bball...snookering...sentosa....cycling...blading...mahjong....ktv...eat and eat...eat and eat...

yah...as can be seen above....no concrete plan...everything also wanna do...but do with who? haa

oh yah....

thankz to all who have drop a few lines of 'cut-n-pasted' praises for the confidence-dipping zs for the past week...they have definitely helped me survive and strive thru the tides...and i shall (for now) said that i have not let anyone down...not even myself...

(NB: the verdict of the above statement is subjected to changes until final confirmation on 27th...so for now....just take it as i've done well...kz/...haa)

i shall be officially setting myself free tmr!!!

yah....last paper le...mkt1003...a wrong move this sem...but still...i have to finish this badly taken step...and i'm gonna finish it with a smile....s/u-ed it...didn't really study for it either...but 2 dayz...review the webcasts and read some chapters....i hope it's enough to secure a pass...yesh...all i need is an 'S'...shouldn't be too hard...

but still...i feel the stress...coz i give it to myself...sigh...yah...

but compared to previous sems....this sem is the best....in terms of 'dissolving' the stress level....maybe i'm immune to it already....maybe i've grown sick of it...it's just part and parcel of my uni life in chem engin...yeah...

hols shall start...the christmas season....yeah...presents better start coming in fast....heex.///....

can't wait...for the sem to close!!!!