我还想她
"请告诉她我不爱她
笑着难过 自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉她 我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答"
JJ - 我还想她
笑着难过 自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎
狠了心说真心谎话
别告诉她 我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口
就让沉默代替所有回答"
JJ - 我还想她
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
if i could
if i could, i would make sure you eat your lunch and dinner.
if i could, i would make sure you have enough rest each night.
if i could, i would help u destress whenever you feel tense.
if i could, i would.
i would.
if i could, i would make sure you have enough rest each night.
if i could, i would help u destress whenever you feel tense.
if i could, i would.
i would.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Best of me - Daniel Powter
Best of me - Daniel Powter
I was made the wrong way
Won't you do me the right way
Where you gonna be tonight
'cause i won't stay too long
Maybe you're the light for me
When you talk to me it strikes me
Won't somebody help me
'cause i don't feel too strong
Was it something that i said
Was it something that i did
Or the combination of both that did me wrong
You know i'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Everything's behind you
But the hope still stands beside you
Living in every moment
Have i wasted all your time
Was there something that i said
Was there something that i did
Or the combination i broke that did me have
You know i'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Baby that's the best of me
You know i'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
I know it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And i hate to thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Thursday, October 16, 2008
16th october 2008
pls dun make me 讨厌 thee...it's not easy to love...but it's so easy to hate...
haiz...i think i need to withdraw for awhile...i can't feel the credibility...i can't trust anymore...i have lost the ability to discern right from wrong...i dunno how to tell which are truths and which are lies...i am no longer sure what to expect...the vision is blurred...i dun mind being depended upon...but i know thou mind coz thou art afraid of leading me on...i agree...this is the right thing to do...
the boundary was there...i crossed it...and in fact, i think i am the one that finds it hard to get back to my original place...i have misplaced myself...i still need time...and i really aint have alot of time...
i know...
i need to be fast...i need to pick up and go...once again...
i need to keep on drifting...till the day i find the right anchorage...i will need to keep drifting...
haiz...i think i need to withdraw for awhile...i can't feel the credibility...i can't trust anymore...i have lost the ability to discern right from wrong...i dunno how to tell which are truths and which are lies...i am no longer sure what to expect...the vision is blurred...i dun mind being depended upon...but i know thou mind coz thou art afraid of leading me on...i agree...this is the right thing to do...
the boundary was there...i crossed it...and in fact, i think i am the one that finds it hard to get back to my original place...i have misplaced myself...i still need time...and i really aint have alot of time...
i know...
i need to be fast...i need to pick up and go...once again...
i need to keep on drifting...till the day i find the right anchorage...i will need to keep drifting...
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
random
i always think that if it's a qn, it's definitely meant to be answered/replied.
oh well. i guess my principles are quite unique.
just some random thotz again. something that i can't convince myself to change. something so ingrained in me that i think thatz how everyone should behave. i mean if i put myself in the other person's shoes, i would still think that i ought to answer a qn thatz being asked. nothing wrong isn't it?
hah.
oh nvm. just feel like ranting after the petroleum test. pretty crazy to do such a taxing test in such a short time. but overall, it seems okay still. dunno. shall remain optimistic until the verdict's finally out later.
oh well. i guess my principles are quite unique.
just some random thotz again. something that i can't convince myself to change. something so ingrained in me that i think thatz how everyone should behave. i mean if i put myself in the other person's shoes, i would still think that i ought to answer a qn thatz being asked. nothing wrong isn't it?
hah.
oh nvm. just feel like ranting after the petroleum test. pretty crazy to do such a taxing test in such a short time. but overall, it seems okay still. dunno. shall remain optimistic until the verdict's finally out later.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Linger
"You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger...
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to...do you have to...do have to let it linger"
--- Linger - The Cranberries
You've got me wrapped around your finger...
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to...do you have to...do have to let it linger"
--- Linger - The Cranberries
Sunday, October 12, 2008
disappointments/apologies
Disappointments are just negative results of expectations. I have always believe that the higher the expectations the harder you would fall, if it happens that there should be a fall. I have learned to play down my expectations in every aspect in life. Expectations of results, expectations of friendships. coz i know that in life, there is hardly any equality. maybe i am still not doing it good enough, but i'm definitely constantly knocking this into my head. constantly reminding to give what i have to offer and only take what i need and what there is for me to take.
but i guess everyone has his/her weakest spot. i have mine but i shan't disclose it. But i guess it's pretty obvious from the things i did.
anyway, my actual intent of this entry is to reply to a friend.
i'm not mad at you. really. if i were really mad, then i think it's only appropriate that i were mad at myself, not you. i should have already gotten used to that. but i guess i'm freaking slow at adapting. and as many pple will agree with me, i think my biggest problem is that i bother too much when it comes to some persons. yah. so if i have disppointed you, i have nothing to say. i guess all i can do is to apologise if it affects ur mood for the day (but i guess it's not that impactful, at least i hope it's not). and please don't expect too much of me. i aint any saint. i'm human too. i dun wish that u get more and more disappointed in ur friend here. sorrie.
i don't know if u will read this. but anyway, i wrote it here not because it's intended for you to read. i just wanna blog it here coz it's really hard for me to put it down in words. in fact, i was at a loss of words this morning coz it's nvr my intention to cause harm or hurt anyone, esp if it's you.
haiz. so many things to accomplish. but so little drive. and what more. my fyp has come to a temporal halt. pit stop! no progress for one week plus already. no replies from my prof and co sup. wat to do? i dun wanna rush into things and get them all wrong and waste time on doing wrong things. as much as i will need advices, i think i am the most appropriate person to advice myself.
a test on wed. but it doesn't seem to be my concern at the monent. an eg proj due-ing in abt 2 weeks' time. but i guess pple work best at last minute. so i shall wait to see if there's anything more to add on for my part. well, afterall it's a grp proj and i need inputs as of now.
slack sem. with mind preoccupied by fyp. sux as it may seem, the earth still revolves in a way not many pple like. wat to do? make the best out of every situation and live life.
=)
hmm. i should say that things are no longer the same. as much as we would wish that they are, they are really no longer. but no worries, i will try my best to bring it back to how it's used to be.
but i guess everyone has his/her weakest spot. i have mine but i shan't disclose it. But i guess it's pretty obvious from the things i did.
anyway, my actual intent of this entry is to reply to a friend.
i'm not mad at you. really. if i were really mad, then i think it's only appropriate that i were mad at myself, not you. i should have already gotten used to that. but i guess i'm freaking slow at adapting. and as many pple will agree with me, i think my biggest problem is that i bother too much when it comes to some persons. yah. so if i have disppointed you, i have nothing to say. i guess all i can do is to apologise if it affects ur mood for the day (but i guess it's not that impactful, at least i hope it's not). and please don't expect too much of me. i aint any saint. i'm human too. i dun wish that u get more and more disappointed in ur friend here. sorrie.
i don't know if u will read this. but anyway, i wrote it here not because it's intended for you to read. i just wanna blog it here coz it's really hard for me to put it down in words. in fact, i was at a loss of words this morning coz it's nvr my intention to cause harm or hurt anyone, esp if it's you.
haiz. so many things to accomplish. but so little drive. and what more. my fyp has come to a temporal halt. pit stop! no progress for one week plus already. no replies from my prof and co sup. wat to do? i dun wanna rush into things and get them all wrong and waste time on doing wrong things. as much as i will need advices, i think i am the most appropriate person to advice myself.
a test on wed. but it doesn't seem to be my concern at the monent. an eg proj due-ing in abt 2 weeks' time. but i guess pple work best at last minute. so i shall wait to see if there's anything more to add on for my part. well, afterall it's a grp proj and i need inputs as of now.
slack sem. with mind preoccupied by fyp. sux as it may seem, the earth still revolves in a way not many pple like. wat to do? make the best out of every situation and live life.
=)
hmm. i should say that things are no longer the same. as much as we would wish that they are, they are really no longer. but no worries, i will try my best to bring it back to how it's used to be.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
"huh"
am i not worth more than a "huh"?
are u really that busy?
then why do u even bother to log on msn?
are u really that busy?
then why do u even bother to log on msn?
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
year 4 sem 1
went blog surfing for a while just now (haven't been doing that for quite some time already) and happen to chanced upon brudder's blog. and i sort of found the ans to a qn of mine. somehow, i have always gotten this feeling that this sem (year 4 sem 1) feels weird. initially, i thought it was becoz of me doing IA in the previous sem that i have gotten too slack. But 8 weeks have passed. any kind of slackness should have somehow been tuned away.Then i thot maybe it's FYP. hmm. thatz probably the root of every problem this sem. it seems really to be the case, but then i realised that fundamentally, it's not.
"Mayb its becos of the individual nature of e things we r doing now.. At least as a grp, slog together, at most die together, e extra strength u can derive from one another is, immense.. Mayb tats y some of u r feeling less motivated tis sem" - abstract from brudder's blog.
Thatz it! no wonder i'm so not motivated. why must be do indv fyp? no one to push me this way. and there's no synergy to talk about. so lonely. so powerless. and u can't whine to another about it coz everyone has his/her own problems and truly, none can fully comprehend what problems the other pple are facing.
apart from this constant pain in the arse. the rest of the modules are. hmm. slack as they may seem for now. or maybe everyone just choose to be slack towards them. so much so that not many pple are doing anything much for these. no mug-together sessions. no brain-farking sessions. hahz. somehow and strangely, i miss those sems when everyone is complaining about the same thing. the same farked-up profs. the same stupid quiz. labz. and projz.
wat more? it seems hard to get lunch khaki also. hmm. everyone's schecule is so different from one another's. that there are no fixed lunch time. and i am really turned off by the possibility of having to eat lunch alone if i go mug in sch alone. so turned off that i might just opt to stay at home even though i know i would be less than half efficient.
haiz. where are my friends?
can i fast-forward this sem?
or better still, can i fold?
can you just give me an A- for my fyp?
can i just find something i would feel really passionate towards?
apart from thee.
anyway. i hope i'm doing some right things. i hope i'm contributing and doing good.
i hope.
"Mayb its becos of the individual nature of e things we r doing now.. At least as a grp, slog together, at most die together, e extra strength u can derive from one another is, immense.. Mayb tats y some of u r feeling less motivated tis sem" - abstract from brudder's blog.
Thatz it! no wonder i'm so not motivated. why must be do indv fyp? no one to push me this way. and there's no synergy to talk about. so lonely. so powerless. and u can't whine to another about it coz everyone has his/her own problems and truly, none can fully comprehend what problems the other pple are facing.
apart from this constant pain in the arse. the rest of the modules are. hmm. slack as they may seem for now. or maybe everyone just choose to be slack towards them. so much so that not many pple are doing anything much for these. no mug-together sessions. no brain-farking sessions. hahz. somehow and strangely, i miss those sems when everyone is complaining about the same thing. the same farked-up profs. the same stupid quiz. labz. and projz.
wat more? it seems hard to get lunch khaki also. hmm. everyone's schecule is so different from one another's. that there are no fixed lunch time. and i am really turned off by the possibility of having to eat lunch alone if i go mug in sch alone. so turned off that i might just opt to stay at home even though i know i would be less than half efficient.
haiz. where are my friends?
can i fast-forward this sem?
or better still, can i fold?
can you just give me an A- for my fyp?
can i just find something i would feel really passionate towards?
apart from thee.
anyway. i hope i'm doing some right things. i hope i'm contributing and doing good.
i hope.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
result and effort
well...i have always been talking abt how result is not proportional to the effort put in..be it in studies...or in anything in life...and i seriously think that it's very true...and having spent 3 yrs in NUS didn't prove me wrong so far...
but that doesn't mean you should not put in effort...of coz u still must...coz it's a way to answer to yourself...whether or not the result turned out to be good or bad...above or below expectations...in cases when it turned out good...then u can go abt saying "well..i put in my fair share of effort...so i definitely deserve it and should be proud of myself." as for cases when it didn't turn out too well...u still can say "hmm...i have done what i should...this time wrong it's too bad...but i m sure my effort will pay off in the future...jiayou!" yep...what i m trying to say...is that nobody asks u to study...how much time u wanna spend mugging depends entirely on you...and when u think it's enough...it WILL of course be enough...coz there's no such thing as "i have FINISHED my revision"...only "i have had ENOUGH revision on that"...
anyway...studies aside...coming back to the effort-result thingy...or rather effort-effect might be a better way to put it...i really think that it's similar...
i know that a thousand words i said wun be able to match the effect of a simple gesture of concern from someone else...yay...but that doesn't deprive me from putting in the effort i deem fit to express the concern that i feel for thee...be it wanted or not...
i can't pretty much control it either...but i have been trying to rationalise it as much as possible...coz the standpoint is different...and the appropriate course of action is also different...
but i know that if 1000 words aint enough...i would say 2000 words...in fact, i would do anything i deem fit as a friend just to put a smile on thy face...
wat a fool...
=)
but that doesn't mean you should not put in effort...of coz u still must...coz it's a way to answer to yourself...whether or not the result turned out to be good or bad...above or below expectations...in cases when it turned out good...then u can go abt saying "well..i put in my fair share of effort...so i definitely deserve it and should be proud of myself." as for cases when it didn't turn out too well...u still can say "hmm...i have done what i should...this time wrong it's too bad...but i m sure my effort will pay off in the future...jiayou!" yep...what i m trying to say...is that nobody asks u to study...how much time u wanna spend mugging depends entirely on you...and when u think it's enough...it WILL of course be enough...coz there's no such thing as "i have FINISHED my revision"...only "i have had ENOUGH revision on that"...
anyway...studies aside...coming back to the effort-result thingy...or rather effort-effect might be a better way to put it...i really think that it's similar...
i know that a thousand words i said wun be able to match the effect of a simple gesture of concern from someone else...yay...but that doesn't deprive me from putting in the effort i deem fit to express the concern that i feel for thee...be it wanted or not...
i can't pretty much control it either...but i have been trying to rationalise it as much as possible...coz the standpoint is different...and the appropriate course of action is also different...
but i know that if 1000 words aint enough...i would say 2000 words...in fact, i would do anything i deem fit as a friend just to put a smile on thy face...
wat a fool...
=)
