a week of the holidayz has past...i feel like i'm wasting my life away...no agenda...no to-do-list...
totally free to do whatever i want...free to not do anything at all...
went for a run just now...jog all the way to teck whye (as usual, if i ever get my feets to run)...i felt the need to run...to feel myself breathing...to feel the 'stitches' (not sure if it's spelled this way)...i just need to feel some aches here and there...to know that i'm still 'alive'...
okay....just some random tots generating as i allow my selected list of sun yanzi's and S.H.E's songs run ....
non-chalant...i guess i've learnt to see things...feel things...but not to express what i feel...an observer...a listener...but not an expressionist...i may seem to be not paying attention...but actually...i'm listening attentively...
scare of commitments...ever since dunno when...i feel the fear of being committed to something...someone...dun wanna be involved in anything that concerns too many people...dun wanna get tangled into complicated human relations...i really dun wanna care too much about these....hmm...some people may term it as 'irresponsible'...but i think otherwise....to me at this moment....i just don't wanna take up any responsibilities...in fact...i'm a totally committed and fully responsible chap...if i ever decide to take up something and be in charge of it....but the twists and turns in life are so 'merciless' that i have learnt to take up less responsibilities...so as to feel less regretful when you promise but fail to deliver...when you take so much pain in organising something and yet, you are unappreciated and people simply care about themselves...perhaps, this explains why i seldom organise any outings...coz i dun like replies such as 'see how', 'tell me who are going first?'....i would very much prefer to be the person being asked (not organise) and reply 'oh...i'm free...will be there...'
leadership...talking about leadership (hey....i'm a LTA okay?!?!?!?!)...well...i can only say that i dun really think about leadership amongst peers...it's true that we can influence each other's decisions...but to tkae control and lead outright...i will still feel strange...which is why i am so 'anything' ....it's called 随和 ba...always putting others before you....afterall...many of these are not life-threatening decisions...they are just minute events of life like 'where to go?', 'what to do?', ' what to eat?'...
so i guess i'm not a crowd pleaser...not an attention seeker...
i'm just a simple guy who is always making things seem more complicated...erm...a complex guy wanting to be simple? maybe....
wow...a rather long post...it's been some time since i seriously sat down and penned my thoughts...
"你往北 向南说再见"
- 候鸟 S.H.E
one of my fave S.H.E's songs....
hmm....a few of my uni frenz are flying off to vietnam for YEP soon...coming monday i think...well...ru de..hong keat...andy...and some of the others that i'm still not very close with (people like lianghan and kang jie)..well anyway.....may all of you have a fruitful trip....bon voyage!!!! and do take care!
totally free to do whatever i want...free to not do anything at all...
went for a run just now...jog all the way to teck whye (as usual, if i ever get my feets to run)...i felt the need to run...to feel myself breathing...to feel the 'stitches' (not sure if it's spelled this way)...i just need to feel some aches here and there...to know that i'm still 'alive'...
okay....just some random tots generating as i allow my selected list of sun yanzi's and S.H.E's songs run ....
non-chalant...i guess i've learnt to see things...feel things...but not to express what i feel...an observer...a listener...but not an expressionist...i may seem to be not paying attention...but actually...i'm listening attentively...
scare of commitments...ever since dunno when...i feel the fear of being committed to something...someone...dun wanna be involved in anything that concerns too many people...dun wanna get tangled into complicated human relations...i really dun wanna care too much about these....hmm...some people may term it as 'irresponsible'...but i think otherwise....to me at this moment....i just don't wanna take up any responsibilities...in fact...i'm a totally committed and fully responsible chap...if i ever decide to take up something and be in charge of it....but the twists and turns in life are so 'merciless' that i have learnt to take up less responsibilities...so as to feel less regretful when you promise but fail to deliver...when you take so much pain in organising something and yet, you are unappreciated and people simply care about themselves...perhaps, this explains why i seldom organise any outings...coz i dun like replies such as 'see how', 'tell me who are going first?'....i would very much prefer to be the person being asked (not organise) and reply 'oh...i'm free...will be there...'
leadership...talking about leadership (hey....i'm a LTA okay?!?!?!?!)...well...i can only say that i dun really think about leadership amongst peers...it's true that we can influence each other's decisions...but to tkae control and lead outright...i will still feel strange...which is why i am so 'anything' ....it's called 随和 ba...always putting others before you....afterall...many of these are not life-threatening decisions...they are just minute events of life like 'where to go?', 'what to do?', ' what to eat?'...
so i guess i'm not a crowd pleaser...not an attention seeker...
i'm just a simple guy who is always making things seem more complicated...erm...a complex guy wanting to be simple? maybe....
wow...a rather long post...it's been some time since i seriously sat down and penned my thoughts...
"你往北 向南说再见"
- 候鸟 S.H.E
one of my fave S.H.E's songs....
hmm....a few of my uni frenz are flying off to vietnam for YEP soon...coming monday i think...well...ru de..hong keat...andy...and some of the others that i'm still not very close with (people like lianghan and kang jie)..well anyway.....may all of you have a fruitful trip....bon voyage!!!! and do take care!
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