RevamPinG....Just a BloG...

"tHe GreaTesT tHinG, YoU'll eVeR LeaRn, iS jUsT tO LoVe anD bE LovEd iN rEtUrN..."

Sunday, April 30, 2006

argh....i am watching tv!!!!

when i am supposed to studying...haha...

haven't really gotten the tempo yet...but..i will work hard tmr i guess....i really need to work hard...dun wanna buang this module...

Friday, April 28, 2006

"I'm stressed coz i think of stress~ I'm lovesick coz i think of love, so you have a choice.. choose your situations"

words from guang's blog...

wise guy always comes up with wise pieces of advice...lolz....

alrite...zhansheng....you decide how you wan your life to be like...get it moving!
somehow...i dun wanna sleep...i know i'm tired...restless..what i desperately need is a good night rest...to get recharged....for the coming uphill task...

but...sleeping will spell the end of today...and soon...will be the start of tmr...when i will have to pick up my RED COVER FELDER CEP textbook..and some wonder mechanical pencil and start the daunting task to conquer this first ever encounter with CN module for my 4 years in chem engin...god bless me...buddha bless me...guanyin ma bless me...all holy and spiritual forces and forms that are around...bless me....

in need of loads and loads of blessings....
maths was quite cui...

no feast...just a bowl of minced meat noodle in arts...nothing like what you had....

never go for a while either...coz was raining...and coz i met kaiqi...a friend that i haven't seen for quite long..and since she lives near me...we went home together...so i cancelled my loiter in shopping centre...not really in the mood due to the rain also...

then reached home...did nothing except chatting with friends online...dling and updating my song archives...so many new songs i have never heard before...

when will i get started on cn1111? hmm...tmr? 4 days for a module...enough?

where will i start from?

quite lost...totally no mood to study anymore...

but still must force myself...i hope that as i get started tmr...i can get into the tempo...coz there is really alot to cover...

oh...this is the only day i never see you at MPSH for exams...hmm...

ha...i should be getting my life to move on...aint gonna stay here and wait for anyone....not you...so....

byebye...i'm off...nice to have met you along the way...it's been a pleasant to have had you on my mind...but i'm so sorry to say that you really have to go...i need the space for 'someone' else...

cheers...wednesday....i will be ultra prepared for you....
damn...i'm so goddamn tired...after the paper at 5pm...

"why must it end at 7pm!!!!!!"

"oh..coz it started at 5pm"...

i found the ans to my own question...how smart, zhansheng!

well...the genes paper just now was a test of stamina...100mcq...and really...it drained me so dry that i can hard revise any maths when i reached home...only review one and a half past year papers...hope my condition will be well tmr....

i'm not gonna let you conquer me just like this!!!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The Devoted Lover
54% partner focus, 33% aggressiveness, 45% adventurousness
Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:


You prefer your romance and love to be traditional rather than daring
or out-of-the-ordinary, you would rather be pursued than do the
pursuing and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes
more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply
seeking your own.


This places you in the Lover Style of: The Devoted Lover.


The Devoted Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and is perhaps
the best Lover Style when it comes to developing a long-term, caring
and rewarding relationship. The Devoted Lover is a treasure to find,
though it is sometimes difficult to time establishing a relationship
with one just right; usually, this is the last romantic relationship
you'll need to find, so sow any wild oats first.


In terms of physical love, the Devoted Lover can be shy at
first but gradually warms and eventually can be a thrilling partner who
knows every need of his/her partner. Given a strong and loving
relationship, and the right lover, the Devoted Lover can be a delight
in bed.


Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Suave Lover (most of all) or the Classic Lover, or the Carnal Lover.

<
Congratulations!


If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you
might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in
the following:


Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST



My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 39% on partner focus
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 14% on aggressiveness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 27% on adventurousness
Link: The Lover Style Profile Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
taking a little time off to blog a few words...

went blog surfing for a while...guang has a wonderful story on his...hmm..it's really amazing how perspectives differ from each indv...which is good...and the willingness to share yours with others can only lead to more good...if everyone can gracefully listen and share....

i bet the little boy has learnt something valuable too...that he may be rich...but he may not be as 'rich' as the poors in terms of values and friendship....things that are so intangible and yet so important...he will learn to appreciate what he already has and not squander away unnecessarily...unreasonably...

=) alrite....back to my studies!

oh yah...and arsenal will be flying to paris for 17th May...while i will be in Taipei....rejoice to the Gunners!!! Hail to Arsene Wenger!!! Salute to Lehman!!! and hopefully, STAY-ON for Henry!!!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

emotional roller coaster...

why do i feel 'cui' after an easy paper? did i do badly? nope..i dun think so...it's just that the condition during the exam...the level of focus....it's never there...so far for every paper...

i could be doing the questions but thinking of some other things that are totally unrelated...i could actually miss out an entire sub qn and went on un-noticed....only to find out later and squeezed something into the miserable space that was left...dunno if i wrote enough to ans the qn annot...

constantly tiredness...tmr is a day break from the papers...next up will be genes...5pm thurs....got a full tmr and the early thurs for that...i hope it's enough...for 100 mcqs...

was doing a 2.5hr maths paper just now...it's so disastrous...so many things that i ought to know but couldn't recall...only till i saw the solution then i went "oh..i'm so stupid..." calcultion mistakes...see questions wrongly...

thatz why i say the level of focus is so so gone,....

Monday, April 24, 2006

D+4:

if (effort == result) printf("the world will be a fairer place\n");
if (effort != result) printf("this is reality!!!\n");

haha...just some last few C commands that i will write...and i hope i wun have to touch it again...it's been 'fun' learning C...the irritation...the aggression...the complication all generated by a simple "gcc -Wall -lm wateva.c -o wateva"....the thousands of lines of warnings and errors...the endless nights of looking at the sunfire or gvim screen...and not to forget the most torturous 1hr 45min in SOC1...

i had enough!!!!!


if nothing else matters to me anymore, would i be a happier zhan?

do i think too much?
do i put in too much effort in the things i do?
do i worry too much?

"too much"...oh...there is actually such a song...by hebe...


tired but whenever i lie on my bed...i will struggle to fall asleep...

corrinne may's voice smoothens the mood for the night...but i need something more to calm my mind....to close my weary eyes...to rest my heavy heart...

"gotta move on man"...haha...sounds familiar...and before you know...i would have moved on too far and fallen off the cliff...

then maybe you would be able to find me...sunken deep in the valley...bottomless depression...well...so much for moving on...

smile zs...tmr will be a better day...so will tmr's tmr...and same for tmr's tmr's tmr...as in the betterness will reach infinity...yah lorz then the bound condition will set in and forever becomez zero...(right annot yanz?)

forever is as long as time lasts...a promise can't be forever...coz it never last as long as time...time always increments on and on

it's like time++ ....a promise is just a stupid fool thinking that it can outlast time...but it will always fail...it's a fact of life...face it and learn to live with it....

but promises can still be made worthwhile ...so long as it's not empty...and it has an 'expiry date'...

hmm..why am i blogging about all this all out a sudden...deviated from my line of thoughts...

if sleep is the solution to all problems in the world...then let everyone sleep forever...hmm...forever....infinity....

Sunday, April 23, 2006

D+3...

can't wait for everything to end...suddenly kinda keen about the ROC trip...need to get out of this island for a while i think...

get out of some worthless routines...

lets see when is the end....D+12 is the last day...hmm...but this coming friday i should be able to take a breather...before i embark on the dangerous uphill...cn/\/\/\/\ (aka cn 1111....aka cn!!!!) i'm just being crazy...dun be bothered by me...

haha...

exam periods are hard to get by...but i'm slowly getting used to it...used to not worrying so much and let nature and fate take their own courses....

Saturday, April 22, 2006

oh..did i mention that i tend to get lost in my thoughts lately? yah...it's quite bad...i keep haveing negative thoughts about everything possible...

i will stare blankly at a piece of paper...a laptop screen...a wall...

simply lost focus...

神游 or 仙游? did i use the term correctly? as if my inner spirit got out of the body and went 'holiday'ing...

well...

Friday, April 21, 2006

oh....blogger releases me...now i can blog again...hmm...what should i write?

econs today? erm...tough paper...dunno how i fare also..alot of doubts...but i think i still can get my A....i hope lar....*pray hard....

oh..went sci cblc with yanz today to view the gek cdroms...her friend 'own' that place sia...quite powerful friend....quite a nice person also...i feel lar...

then came back with packaged dinner...coz mom watching DCJ...(aka...da chang jin)...and ate...rest awhile ( actualli never rest also)...and started on doing so cm..which ended up quite badly...i took longer than i expected to go thru those questions and got stunned at a 'same' question that stunned me before midterm....sianzz....

aint got much time to hendak kaki (dunno how to spell malay)...

hmm...'need to move on'...yah lorz...as i have always said..and sometimes fail to do so....

tmr and sun will be intense cs...i dun wanna go into the exam hall not knowing what to do....

a good 2 hrs on maths before that? should be quite okay with that arrangement bah...

lets hope tmr and the following days until 3rd turn out all well....

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

sianz...will one full day on econs kill me like what chem did to me today?

don't know man...haven't really been putting in effort for econs...complacent? nope..just that i need more time for mod like maths...genes...chem...

even cs is put on hold and cn is totally untouched...

sigh~ ...i hope things turn out well lar...

revise micro concepts....review macro concepts...go thru the easy tutorials...and some past year papers...

and get A+ on friday/...sounds like a good deal?

haha...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

taking some time off to watch epl highlights...

haven't really watched a decent program on tv for long...not those meal-times' glimpse on what on air...

hmm...genes is killing me today....only managed to complete 2 maths practice past years in the earlier half of the day and read gek like siao...stuffs that i read before looks foreign...

hmm...tmr will be whole day on cm..until i got sian of it...then i will happily start on econs...

i think i will be really happy to revise econs lar...haha...so fun subject...i should have gone arts with pj man...

lately, i tend to go to sleep with a too 'filled' mind...and often..woke up tired no matter how long i sleep...all these will be over soon...

oh...my cs!!!! haven't touched it since the disaster....(the fateful 'good wednesday', which i so decide to call it)....hope a sat and sun will be enough for it? ha...no other place to fill in my schedule already lar....

6 mods aint play play...without s/u somemore....kauz...maybe the start of this sem is already a wrong move....

but.. well...i have taken the steps...i need to bear the consequences...i have learnt to be strong...at least appear to be strong...=)

alright! i'm strong!

Monday, April 17, 2006

徐长今 always wins...she is always able to overcome adversities...no matter what stand in her way..she will get thru...she is such a nice person...that everybody in the right frame of mind will help her...

haha...my mom is hooked to the 大长今...very nice meh? i dunno...didn't really watch with her...no time for that lar...

this noon was abit disastrous...own3d by the stupid ma1506 tut on surface integral...stokes and guass aint my good friends..they always bully me with the curl and div thingy they have...

if you understand what i mean..you will feel with me...

feel!!!

i think i'm behind schedule...i aint a very efficient person..pple take 1 hr..i may have to take 2...what to do...spend more time?

how to do that when i am someone who needs more slepp than others too?

one word: cui-ed...

recent night rests haven't been well either...can't really put my mind to rest...i would be 'happily' thinking about integration when i sleep...wake up in the morning with an equation in the head....how bad can it get?

oh..i need good rest...at least when i sleep at night...to be able to start a new day fresh....

2nd sem in uni only..sigh~....

unconscious sighing is bad....

haha...see..my thoughts aint linked at all...i'm jumping from one thing to another without me really noticing it...lolz...

go to sleep lar....orh...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

sian-ed...cui-ed...murdered...slaughtered...owned....

HELP!!!!
what if i say that i hope "you" can be my motivation?

anyway, it feels good today...at least i can go on a few days more...

cheers...

tmr will be maths and hopefully chem...gonna write down the schedule to stretch it till exams start...need to monitor the progress..if not i dunno what else i haven't done...
"she glanced this way, i thought i saw...
...
...
no, it can't be..i'll just ignore...
but then she's never looked at me that way before"

" there may be something there that wasn't there before "

- something there -- a track from Beauty and the Beast OST

thank you for sending me the song..it's very sweet of you...really...

yah...i have been looking for this song ever since i heard it on radio the other day...beauty and the beast is a nice cartoon...kinda miss it...think i should watch it again during the hols...i still got the LD!!! hope my LD player still works then...

haha...i need a fairytale...

Saturday, April 15, 2006

"我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有"

"心不是热的
全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的"

--- 我要快乐 -- Amei...

somehow...sad songs still appeal to me more...

a tired day after macro econs revision...hope it's enough coz i aint wanna spend more time on it...gonna treat my other modules fairly...though i have been treating econs quite unfairly..but i had given it a full 2 years in jc..so i hope it doesn't matter...haha...

tmr is maths and gek!...all planned...actualli no lar..i only plan what i wanna do the following day...never feel so cui-ed before this sem...and now's the crunch time...

either make it or break it....

i dun wanna repeat another "cs-PE"-type of event...tragic

Friday, April 14, 2006

"是我忽略了你也会有想要哭的感觉"

...this phrase just popped up suddenly in my mind...i think everyone has their fair share of moments when they just wanna cry their hearts out...it's good to be able to cry...at least i feel so...it's unbearable to want to cry but no tear flows...欲哭无泪...

crying really lessens the pain you felt at that particular moment...but i've grown and learnt not to cry...the last time that tears really flowed from my eyes was abt 6 years 4-5 years back...other than that..i can't really remember when else did i drop a tear...

i really admire pple who always seem to be happy...well...maybe it's that part of her that attracted me...ha...ok...

i'm learning to acquire the skill...of being able to be eternally-happy...wish me luck...i think i will need that for the next few weeks...

exams are near and revision hasn't reached anywhere that it should by now...jiayou!!!!!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

oh...did i mention that i 'thought' i lost my keys today?

it happens when i reached yewtee after the tragic cs event...when i was 'happily' walking out of the mrt station..i tried to search for my keys which usually sleep soundly in my left berm's pocket...they weren't there!!

i tot to myself..." 祸不单行...oh man..it's just another 'fateful' day in my life again "....felt so sian that i didn't initiate a thorough check..simply called my mom to see if she had reached home...if not i would have ended up in mac...yah...jj'z fave hideout...with my useless 密集 blar blar...and a stack of friends' lab reports...

ok..mom's at home...good....so i went into the lift...where i felt more comfortable checking into my bulky bag...and guess what...

erm..nothing much really to guess here...yah lar...stupid me...the keys were inside...but god-knows-when i threw it in...must be before 12pm...coz anything that happened before 12 was momentarily erased from my memory after the ~2 hrs of mental torture....

trying to find a bright side of life to look at!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

an afternoon post just tells that i'm DOWN!!! yet again...slaughtered by cs1101c PE...it's really quite bad for me...didn't understand what to do...didn't do much either...

it's total failure...the thing i wrote...even a C-beginner can write...

sigh...

all i can do is to sleep now...get over with it...and persevere...i will whack cm tonight i think....chapter 4 first....

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

somehow...i dun wish to interfere..i dun wan to get into the web again...staying clear...steering away....

i wanna live my life....
a blog before i sleep...yah...tmr is the big day...cs1101c PE(practical exam) 30% ...gonna flunk it most likely...and pray hard...and believe in the power of moderation...if there is any in the 1st place...

gotten back the cm 200 marks midterm paper finally...did quite well...147 / 200...the 3 digit marks is absurb lar...but still..i'm glad i did well...sigh...way behind schedule for revision...though i didn't do up a revision time table this time round...

CS revision is taking so much of my time...dun think going to revise much more for the final paper...

lets see...

maths revision is considered done for 4 chapts...the last 2 chapters are the toughest...gonna do practice papers also...

cm is neglected...open book..but still..need to get everything nicely in place also...lect notes and TB processing...past yr papers practice...

cn intending to leave it till last 4 days...hope it's enough...put on quarantine list for the moment...

econs...i think i gonna spent at least 1 good full day on it....jc notes...lousy lect notes...stupid tuts...lotza practice of past years...i need ans

gek...entirely ignored...i must start picking up the TB and CD-Roms....jurong25....

dying...dying from thinking...
who has beauty and the beast OST?

came across this song..i dunno the title...but it brings back fond memorises of the animation movie...(a.k.a cartoon)

"there may be something that there wasn't there before" --- a phrase from the song...

C-ing is killing my brain cells at exponential rate....if this goes on...i doubt i can survive this sem's exam...

haven't really started on any serious revision...

gek - untouched
maths - touched and still lost
chem - untouched by lecturer, untouched by me also (it's pretty bad)
cs - slaughterer
econs - complacently left out..need to start on it too
cn - another murderer...

zs is on the run....escaping from reality...hiding in depression....

Monday, April 10, 2006

disaster strikes in C-ing again...

oh..in case you dun know my jargon of words...C-ing == c-programming...
and yes.. '==' refers to equals in C...'=' merely means 'is assigned to'..

dun be too bothered by me...i'm just abit irritated at the few hours spent with aragorn in forest...trying to build walls to protect frodo and gang...in the end...the walls collapsed like crazy....tragic....

oh..the question is to design a program to build walls to protect frodo in the forest lorz...funny questions but yes...it's this type of question...i think jia will understand how i feel...probably she would have felt more intense than me...

can't help aragorn...i feel so useless...the ring will fall into evil hands...the end of the world....

weep for me....

Sunday, April 09, 2006

oh yah...did i mention that i dreamt of her last night again?

it's irritating...gotten her out of my reality world..and she's still hunting me in my subconcious mind...what to do? i can't really control the uncontrollable part of me...hope that things will subside...
int main(void)
{
working at the comp for 3 straight hours can be so eye-tearing...C programming is really killing me...it's easy to understand a particular C code...but if you were to ask me to come up with one for a particular problem...chances are..i may not be able to process it that fast...

how to survive the practical exam like this? oh man...tired..tired...tired...

/* ------------------------------------- */

i have always said that blogging is mentally unhealthy...a friend of mine told me to not blog so often..coz it makes you think deep about your supposedly fuzzy thoughts...and you will tend to start to 胡思乱想...and this can be rather disastrous...haha...maybe it's true to a certain extent..but i regard blogging as my emotional letouts...whenever i wan to tel something off my heart..or mind...i would just blog it down and sort of let it out of me...

a form of de-stressing...

/* ------------------------------------- */

"失去了曾经的拥有"....

i like phrases like this...kinda playing with words with opposite meanings...yet they can be so meaningful...

"我被遗忘在你遗忘的角落"...

sounds cool...

lolz...

i guess i just need to go rest...tmr will be another day of mugging...everyday will be the same until i decide to not study...until the exams are over...


return 0;
} /* end of main */

/* hope to compile without errors */
/* praying hard to god */

Saturday, April 08, 2006

i ought to be happy...

coz i know i can do better than what i have done so far...

gambatte!!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

"你还在在意些什么?" my inner voice asked me...well...not to sure also...it just didn't feel very right just now...but i guess i did the best that i could...

forced a smile...

stayed far away...

mingled with friends far away...

got home as fast as i could...

i just need time bah...i know it isn't really that hard...but i just need to make the process more bearable and smooth...
looks like everyone has some kinda dreams last night huh?

i had my fair share of weird dreams also...bits and pieces here and there...can't really remember them coz i woke up at 2:30am with the whole world around me turning...super dizzy...

all that for just a 0-0 arsenal match...but it's not too bad...

the only part of the many dreams that i remember is that when she told me her birhtday was on 30/10...dun ask me why the date...i have completely no idea....it's a day before jj's though...and before selina's(S.H.E)...maybe i should buy 4D this weekend...3010...ibet....

well..i had before dreams in which i dreamt of my brother's nric number for no reason..and i asked my mother to go and buy...and it ended up in that week's consolation...haha...strange things happen everywhere....

then there was once during the world cup...the germany thrashed saudi 8-0 one...before that match...i dreamt of a total 8 goals match...but it wasn't clear which one..if i had known it..i would have placed some bets for some fast cash man....

i just simply dun have suck luck i guess...

---------------------------------------------

evolving to a happier me...a zs with lighter load in his mind...feather to replace his sunken heart...he will feel like he has wings soon...coz he's flying off to taiwan!!!

ROC awaits him!!!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

everytime i talked to her...i was 动摇-ed...that's how easily swayed i am...call me fickle if you want...maybe i'm just too 痴情..or 重感情...as i have said before...i'm ready not the type who let go easily once i'm committed...even though i really want to let it go...that's my softspot...

maybe i shouldn't come online so often...but i aint gonna change my 'routine' or habit because of her...oh man...i think that i'm such 乱-ed guy...

i don't wanna get into their way...since their feelings towards each other are mutual...

watching soccer now...arsenal's soccer...one of my last few sources of entertainment and happiness....
resting a lonely soul...a sunken heart...

but i can't rest my mind...there are so many things to be done...but somehow...she still manage to occupy some part of my already minute brain...

all i can say, is that my heart is dead...i'm trying to live my life happily...regardless of what's happening around me...

someday the sun will shine...the stars will smile...i will just have to wait patiently for that fateful day....

cherios...

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

sigh...saw her in mac today during lunch...

went with jj...while i thought that's the only place to lunch without having the possibility of seeing her...i saw her...i was walking with my tray of food out when she sort of just came in from another entrance...not sure if she saw me though...

but felt really strange just now there lar...it's like 很想看见她 but 有很怕看见她...coz i know that if i were to really let go...i really need to not see her often..

seeing her in lectures were already enough...in fact, i'm trying to not 'spy' at her anymore (the word 'spy' is chosen for some special reason)...

i dunno how about tutorials man...

a difficult phase for me...but i think i'm handling fine till now...lets see how day 4 turns out to be...

Monday, April 03, 2006

"触摸" is such a nice song...somehow find the lyrics meaningful and touching...

maybe...we shouldn't even talk...dun make me have second thoughts abt my decision...i'm scared...

我要快乐...this aint much to ask for...

gonna shoot some bballs in sch tmr...i love playing bball!

probably my few sources of happiness left...
我已经过了自己这一关...

the only thing that's worrying me now is how i would feel or react when i see the 2 of them together in sch...i should be avoiding all possible lunches and whatever canteen breaks with them bah...anyway..there aint many left...examz are coming...study week...so it's good...

i suddenly feel reborn....
"想念变成怀念 心动变成心碎
.... .. . 如果你从没出现 我会不会 觉得快了一些"

天灰


"天灰灰 会不会 让我忘了你是谁"
世界末日
jj's msn nick says something abt pple saying there are 2 sides of him...

hmm...think i'm worse then...if he's a coin...then i'm a dice...


"我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有"

....

"我要快乐我要能睡的安稳"
-- ah mei --- 我要快乐

"轻轻触摸未来遥远的风
有一天你会找回你的梦
幸福是看得透而不是
舍不得他的所有
慢慢触摸天空暖暖的火
我在这天黑了也不会走
你的快乐除了他
还有我永远守候
不要难过"

Sunday, April 02, 2006

she initiated a talk...well..at least she cleared things up...i should be letting go soon...real soon...coz i think i deserved to be happy...
breaking apart...but piecing them back...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

downed a can of beer....hope it can make my night past easier...

i think now...she is avoiding me...once i come online...she disappears....

=)

but since she hae made a decision...i will respect her choice...

i aint gonna say that i have lost to who in any way...

i have only lost to myself..my own indecisiveness...my own incapability of facing myself...

should i hold on to it? i dunno...but i'm not the type who let go easily once i'm committed to someone...

i hope time can heal my wound real fast this time round...
"....*** **** and i are not together. but he did tell me he like me before. and so today, i told him i think i have some feelings for him. yup"

these are her exact words...

hurt...yes...but there is really nothing i can do...i can only wish that she is happy with him....

gotta move on from here now...but seriously... i think i love her more than i thought i do...too late...
hmm...just confessed to her...aint good...she said she has some feelings for my other friend..the one who told her he like her before...i think they will be together soon...what can i say?

at least i said it out (via sms)...a hard fall i guess...but at least from here, i know how to get up and where to head towards...

i may need some time to heal...but it will eventually be okay soon...real soon i hope...coz i really needa move on....i have been stuck at this stage for too long...

a happier me? hmm....definitely...
i pressed send again...i'm quite sure what i wanna do now...
maybe i have sorted out my thoughts finally...no matter the outcome...tmr, i will be a happier me...unless she decided to not reply me....
i am tired of relationship matters...coz i know i can't handle them well...i can never learn how to...
i know i need to blog today...and yes...i really have to...i shall then split this into a few different posts...

1. about regrets....
i have had so many regrets in my life that sometimes, i wonder if i would ever learn...wrong choices were made...today(or rather, yesterday) was a friday that i regretted having...maybe..i shouldn't have gone for the lunch...maybe i shouldn't have gone to the ktv...maybe i shouldn't have even gone sch...once again...i saw hopes being shattered...or rather...i gave myself hopes and then, only to shatter them into pieces...sigh...i may be 胡思乱想ing again...逃避 or 面对...i think it's really the time to decide...if not, i know i would have a super tough april ahead...

well about my 胡思乱想ing...it's not without logic...i mean as a third person...you can really obvious and tell if there is something going on between the 2 of them...even yanz told me that she thinks that they are a couple...the problem here is, i tend to add more 胡思乱想ing to that and make things 'simply' worse...

but i really dun wan to regret...regret about not trying...regret about not giving me a chance...regret about not giving her a choice...