如果这世上最遥远的距离 是我在你身旁而你感觉不到我的存在

那最近的距离 会不会是分隔千里之外 而心却如朝夕相随?


a spiritual level....

went doc-visiting again today....the 2nd time within a week...my mum insisted this time...and she especially went down early to get a queue number for me....thankz mum!

saw the same doc...yah..the doc that animated the warm-water-sipping episode...and he was just abt to did it again when i nodded at him to signal to him, "i know what you mean. and you really dun have to make such an elaborate demonstration"...

"May cause drowsiness. Avoid operating machinery." I wonder if this label on the cough syrup should be cancelled off...in fact...i find CN2122 and CM1501 lectures having stronger drowsy effect on me...for different reasons respectively...

2122 was horrentous....i was lost within 10 mins from the start of a 2 hr lect...and while in the midst of finding myself back...i knocked out unknowingly...well...luckily it's only for a while...but i guess staying awake and dozing off doesn't really make a very big difference when 2122 is concerned....simply dun understand...

1501...i didn't want to blame it on the lecturer...he was monotonous alright...but my attention span wasn't that short in the past...blame it on the fact that the lecture was immediately after 2122? haha...2122 again...brain-freaking and no productive gains...eEeFluXxxxxinG!!!!

okiez...back to the most talked about topic in my recent entries....my cough...bronchitis...i was told by the doc...though i wasn't very sure what it really means...喉咙敏感...ah...okiez...i understand...but sensitive to what? change in climatic condition? maybe...or the amt of dust in the air? probable...

embarking on my 2nd bottle of cough mixture...stronger one this time...i hope it can do wonders...my stomach really aches when i cough...throat's so itchy that i feel like scratching it!!!

okiez...at least it's not so bad when i have a lozenge in my mouth...(at least when compared to last few days)....BUT I CAN'T BE ALWAYS SUCKING!!! (no pun intended here)...been on all sorts of lozenges from strepsilz (therez a blackcurrent flavor with some numbing effect)....to vicks (there a butter menthol flavor that tastes quite smooth)...and the pi-pa-gao-brand of 润喉唐...etc...




i really have to admit the truth in "when you least expect someone/something, it will somehow appear right in front of you"...

well...thankz for letting me see you...see that you are doing real well....hmm...maybe i should start doing myself well also...take care

kk...i tink i should go sleep...i love sleeping...coz i wun cough when i sleep....

这世上最遥远的距离
是我在你身旁 而你却感觉不到我的存在

如果这是我爱你最好的距离

had the 1st of the CN2123 weekly quiz today...crap...10 questions within 20 mins...asking abt espresso coffee...everyone was so busy flipping thru the textbook for the most relevant and sensible content to put down (yah...it's open book)...

can't find anything sensible enough? it's okay...just write some crap..who knows, the marker might be able to spot some keywords in the textful answers and award you the pathetic 1 mark...

nothing can be done to it anymore...just hope and pray...

or if you wan...start revising for next monday!!!



things/pple always appear when you least expect them to...

mkting lect today....

sigh...


my cough doesn't seem to be going anywhere...not recovering...not worsening...might need to go see doc again soon....maybe on thurs monday...it's pretty irritating....if not for myself...at least i know it disturbs pple around....


tutz that i never seem to be able to do....CN2122...CN2123...and soon...i believe CN2121 will join the league...haha...not to frighten those yr1 chem eng pple who happen to chance upon my blog...the process of graduating as a chem engineer is really tough...constant stress...that soon...you might even grow immune to...

the only piece of advice for you: njoy while you can to the fullest!

just happened to look out of the window and saw the darkest night of all in recent time...no signs of the moon...only dark clouds that engulfed the sky...it's drizzling outside...the gloomy weather..the humid air...it's sickening...

argh...get well soon!!!


watching 英雄 on channel U now...not too bad a show...lolz...the effects were eye-opening...award-winning foregin film sia...wonderful!!

tmr is the start of a new week...week 3...i can imagine tutz starting...lab sessions commencing...

sigh...

busy weeks ahead...but i still wanna have my fair share of funz and excitement...

oh man...it's been a week and my voice hasn't come back to me yet...

i hate my cough...it makes me feel weak...i can't do sports...i can't go for a run when i need to sort out my thoughts....i can't talk too long without having to pause for a cough....my abs muscles hurt...i can't sing and make noise...

i'm living on drugs....lozenges and what have you to suppress it...pi pa gao solution will be next...perhaps sleep is the only good thing to do....coz i dun cough in my sleep...the only time when i feel peaceful...lolz

the lozenges are really numbing my taste bud...now everything taste the same...honey lemon taste!!! haha...coz i ate too many robitussin...

letz hope my condition gets better tmr...coz i really need my voice to make noise!!!

my finalised timetable for year 2 sem 1!!! well...wednesday is a good day to book me for lunch!!! and friday is good for sports!!!

went to see doc today...and i realise that nowadays, private docs are really a simple job...you just need to keep asking the patient where is he not feeling well...cough got phlegm...got fever...etc...

wonder why i pay the consultation fee...it's more like the doctor consulting me regarding my ill symptoms...haha

anyway..the doc i saw today was quite funnie...he told me how to lessen the frequency of my cough...he said that i should sip warm water bit by bit...until the throat no longer feels itchy....and while he was saying...he had an imaginary cup in his hand and he happily repeated the sipping of warm water from the imaginary cup to me...putting 'it' down and taking 'it' up to sip the warm invisible water....lolz...

the coughing isn't getting any better....in fact...my throat hurts quite abit now with every cough...

no inflammation....was told by the doc...so no antibotics...

sigh...guess i cannot play soccer tmr le...will be gasping for air and panting like crazy if i play...

no life no life!!!


i wanna cycle...

i wanna billiard....

i wanna mahjong.....

i wanna go k songz......

i wanna go watch movie.......

i wanna go shopping........

"我已不想多说 捂住耳朵
不想再次听到你说 你很爱他"

-- F.I.R - 你很爱他

i cough so hard tt i feel my throat cracking...my head aching...and my lungs gasping for more air...

i need a timeout! even before everything begins to pile up...

argh...i so hate to fall sick...if you see and hear how i cough...you will understand why...didn't go see doc coz i dun like to see doc...i hate their medicine....always make me feel sleepy...unable to do anything productive...

shall see how it goes bah...maybe i really need to see one...



not particularly happy today...probably it's becoz i saw somebody in sch today...haha...no!! it's not you, craig...and qjia...dun worry...you're safe too!...

but just someone i would wish i can momentarily not see...

dilemma...

concerned and yet dun wanna care...


i have my life to live...really...i wanna live out my life and not get tangled and tied down by meaningless matters....


*cough cough....


it's been a rather long day...i shall go and sleep le...

i wanna let loose...

i'm really sick!!!

down with cough and flu...kinda bad...but i didn't see a doc for that...downed some pi pa gao and tonnes of h2o...hopefully tmr...i will be better...

illnesses alwayz hit me in a package - cough and flu always come together...plus some headaches here and there...and restless mood...

argh!!! i wanna get healthy again...i dun wanna be sick...

心病没医好...却又病倒了...


sigh~....


shall go do some reading of textbook before i sleep...tired...




~something thatz still lacking in my life

"我不要求什么 我只想不被打扰
把爱留在街角 就当你永远不会看到"

-- 北极圈 - F.I.R


went east coast park today...with pj, yanz, ah yu, ah cai, qjia and jas..those usual few i guess....and i shan't comment on those who didn't come...and those who didn't even bother to give a more definite answer when being asked...sometimes, it really shows the level of commitment you put in a friendship...maybe priorities have shifted...but still...it's wrong to take your other friends for granted bah...i'm not particularly mad...i'm just abit disappointed...

nvm...

cycling is great! i really love cycling...wat a pity that i pick it up at such a later stage in life...i love the wind blowing when you paddle front...it sorta clear your thoughts for that moment....it felt peaceful...i love to let the bike run down the slope at its own pace...free-wheeling...

lets go cycle again soon!!!

tiring...feeling sick...throat's cracking...*cough cough...i need pi pa gao!

tmr will be the start of week 2...time to get my butt up and start working....tutz...projz...quizes...essayz...textbookz...lect notez...sigh~

it's gonna be one heavy and busy semester for me...

buzy = no time = wun hslx = a happier zhan....

=)

was out with NESWG last night...was treated to dinner by dawn for her bday...Sembawang Shopping Centre..after which we went to this place called 'pit-stop' somewhere in boat quay...similar concept to 'settlers'...it's a place place for teenagers to gather and play some board and card games...got driven around in jinyan's new Renault Kangoo...it's so good and convenient to have a car on your own...only that finding parking on weekends is a little challenging...

anyway...we parted our ways at abt 1am or so...and not wanting to trouble her to send us home...me, guang and chunyen got off in the city area...and both of them didn't feel like going home for some reason...so...we went to food place just beside the clarke quay river...(if i'm not wrong larz)....got ourselves some drinks and 2 cans of beers(guang bought them!!!) and we sat there to 聊心事 until the morning...

it felt good...to be talking out matters that have been kept in your heart...chunyen is such a great advicer in love matters....he said he learnt it in the hard way....sigh...i have been thru the hard way...but i never learn....

hee...guang has his fair share of relationship matters too..abit surprising..haha but i guess when pple come to a certain age...we really can't escape form it...found that he and i are similar in many ways when treating relationship matters...

both are so passive...only to drop hints here and there...fearing rejection...taking it too deep...thinking too much....(pj...i found another of such fren...how how?!?!?! haha)....a capriz and scorp...maybe the 2 most pessismistic horoscopes bah...

chunyen taught us some 'tricks'...haha...i wun called them tricks larz...just some survival skills...

really....been thinking "whatz the pt that i take always relationship matters so deeply?"...i would only end up hurting myself more...and perhaps.....these hurts are essential for me to grow...but i really have had enough of these hurts...

so...i'm really learning to take such things lightly now...not to commit too deep to anyone...leaving the options open...

guang....learn from chunyen...and hopefully, i can serve to be some case studies for you....jiayou bahz!!!

my supply of chocz ran out...just like my printer ink...

the only source of happiness these dayz...most probably the chocz...lolz...shall go and stock up again soon...

1st week in sch...and the stress is already starting to build up...sourcing around for textbooks...getting the notes printed out...bidding for modules and arranging for the best tutorial slots...plus giving tuition on mon and wed night...it's already tiring me out...

perhaps it's good this way...for i'm beginning to get you out of my mind...

i know for myself...there is really no point to be holding on to a false hope...

i know that there are better things in life that are waiting for me...



looking forward to sun...coz going ecp again with shaggerz...lolz...that will be my 2nd attempt to ride on the bic... yes!!! i can cycle already!!!! and probably do some blading as well...i wanna learn how to blade well...


hopefully, by the end of this week...i can get the textbooks sorted out...the study desk ready for doing tutorials and readings....

lets hope life's get better as time goes on...

and i got a good news from tiongz....hee...so happy for him...jiayou, bro!!

my printer ran dry when i was printing my cm notes for tmr...last 2 slides wasn't printed out....damn...how suay can i get...

oh well...today was a bit tiring for me...though with a 4 hour break before my last lect from 1600-1800...i didn't get much rest...went off to eat at Mac with ghim, jiaxing, enping, alvin, zhihao....and then went to the breakers booth to fold some paper cranes for charity...

afterwhich...i went off to library to get a sleeping spot...saw craig and his mud friends there...haha...no offence...and i really knocked out on the desk for awhile...

i always feel tired during sch term...and i need lotsa sleep...sigh...

okie...that aside...today's tuition with matthew was funz...we talked so much cok...lolz...he's one funnie kid with funnie friend...a friendwho would call his home number then hang up...and he will call back to his fren's hp since his is free incoming...kids nowadays are so...erm...street-smart...

tmr i think i gonna go mkt lect alone...so sad...and tatz becoz i dun wanna go sch earli and end up taking a long break again...another 1600-1800 lect for tmr...sigh...

guess i'm beginning to feel the stress...the ESS lect today was abit chim already...how how?

erm...been thinking quite alot lately...abt myself...abt life..abt emotions...

maybe what pj said is partly true...he said that maybe it's becoz he doesn't have anything lacking in life...that he will start to look for someone to love...and that if at this particular moment...if you were to ask him to give up something for love...he would be in a dilemma...

true...humans are greedy...once they feel that they are not lacking in anything...living a comfortable life...they will start to look for additional things to spice up their life...

but to put it in another way...perhaps there is really something lacking in life...this thing called love...

but love is such a complicated issue...it has to work both ways...and what really is the percentage for you to meet someone you love and who loves you as much...or even more... 1 ppb(parts per billion)? or even less? no doubt there are ways to increase the percentage...chances have to be created...courage has to be sought for...

maybe...leaving everything to faith is good...it saves you so much trouble...like what matt said...if everything works out well and smooth..then that person will be the destined one for you...(something along that line...)

but i'm really not a very religious person...i dun haf a particular faith...i have faith in myself...and becoz i'm not religious...i think i need to be strong...be able to hold myself during sad times...to be independent when no one is around...but as i said to matt...being over-independent is also not good...i feel that it will sort of create a barrier between your inner self and the pple around...

maybe i have been too independent in the past...i'm slowly thinning the barrier...i'm willing to share my stuff..if ever anyone happens to be interested...

i know there are lotz of frenz around that truly care...thankz for being there...even though we never really talked much abt it...i can feel the support...that strength that i can draw on to get myself going...

emotions..as i have always said...it's something i can't control...i'm not someone who fall for a person very easier (or rather...i used to be such a person)...but when i did...the fall could be rather deep...still learning to take such things more lightly...

okay...in an attempt to convince myself ..."you dun really need to love in order to survive at this moment in time!!!"....true? i think it is...





someone told me he heard she's attached...thatz good....some sort of 死心的理由 for me...now, all i need to do is to detach myself from the issue....very one-sided, it may seem...but it's just me...one of my biggest flaws....

and once thatz done...i know i need to go out there and experience some other wonderful emotions in the world...




i will feel happier if i see happy pple around me...so pls...can all happy pple gather around me....the aura definitely helps....

quite a long post...things that need to be sorted out...now that it's gone...i gotta move on...

cheerz...may you be happy....and may i find my happiness in other things.....

oh man...i think my blog is full of sad entries...it has really become my emotional dumping ground...so unhealthy...

陷入。逃避。脱离...constantly find myself trapped in this vicious cycle...i know i need to get out of it...but how? my emotion is something that i dun have total control over...it's more like, i'm always being manipulated by it...

it felt good talking to matt...thankz pal...for all the good advice and stuff...

"u'd always be happier with someone tt likes u more," well...true...but thatz provided there is that 'someone' first...=)

sch started unknowingly...and the 1st day was spent rather tiringly...though there's only an hour of lect...but stayed around with the acqua pple to celebrate sb's 20th bday...a simple session...a simple cake...it's good to keep things simple...

after that i 'disappeared' off to home coz they were going quite far for dinner and i had got a tuition at 7...so i parted my way (guess they didn't even realise i wasn't there bah)...saw defu on bus 96 and had a chat with him...think he and yongzhi, as well as lewis, are all doing quite well in nus bah...tatz good...

wasn't really myself during my tuition just now...but i always feel slightly better after each session...lets hope things get better for me...


shall start filling my blog with happy stuffs!!! stay tuned!!!

when i heard that she would be coming just now...i had mixed feelings...

would be happy to see her...but i would not really know what to do...

and so...i ended up not talking to her...didn't even say a 'hi'...

thatz so 'me'...




so indecisive....perhaps that explain why i always couldn't bid for the module i wan...ghim helped me pressed the 'submit' during close bidding for marketing just now...will know if i get the module tonight...it's alot of points spent...sigh...

如果沉默是一种回答 那我知道你的答案...

i should be sleeping by now...but i actualli end up bloggin here...

been very tired lately...not that i didn't rest well...in fact, i have been taking numerous naps during afternoons and evenings...

was talking to a fren on msn just now...he said the rumour is spreading...omg...pls stop...pls dun say anything that's not true...even if it's true...dun say unnecessary stuff that may hurt others....


it's really pointless...seriously...

茶饭不思...but 思念 is a thing that i can't control...probably the best way is to keep myself busy...so that the only free time i have is to be used for resting...

dun think things are that bad afterall...i have got this habit of complicating matters...maybe i should really learn to keep things simple...let nature takes its course...and hopefully, nature is kind enough to me....

cheers!

life has to go on....

with or without you....

"是我 你好吗？
没什么事 只是想知道 你好不好
这是我 最后一次打给你
希望你 好好照顾自己"

-- os in "不说出的温柔" by fan yi cheng


"喂是我 今天还好吗
听说你换了新的号码
其实我早就知道了
所以才一直留言在这里
没事了 早点睡吧"

-- os in "几分之几" by tank

some quotes that i encountered today...

"Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent."

"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what i'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails"

"Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship. ... you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely - but eventually be able to say, ' All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I'm not afraid of feeling lonely, but now, i'm going to that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and i'm going to experience them as well'"


-- Morrie's enlightening words in "Tuesdays with Morrie"

it's j3's jazz version of 'xiao wei'...they sang on superband finals/...

damn good...

dreams that felt so real....

日有所思 也有所梦...how true is it....

the subconscious mind just likes to play tricks on you....

went earli to sch today to help out for rag day....so surprising right? me helping out for rag...

well, promised andy and ghim to offer my help...and i'm not someone who break promises...so i went...with jj...

as crowd controllers...haha...quite do nothing...but still...it's tiring to walk around like bouncers...lolz...and the sun was scorching hot...

rag was really impressive though...especially the hall floats...

the crowd was wild towards the end...cheering like mad...



-------------------


caught a glimpse of her today...but dun think she sees me....




sorta reminds me of a song...街角的祝福 by penny...dun really know why...but it's just the feeling...to be standing in one corner...noticing someone...but he/she doesn't feel your presence/existence....




the engin pple were a whole 'jean' gang (dunno if it's this 'jean)...but nothing impressive from them...probably because of the o-week...all too shagged out...



-------------------


was trying to look for a possible 6th mod and the best tut slots today...it's so damn troublesome!!! i hate planning...with constraints...

mkt1003 should be it....most probably taking with the acqua freshies...if they never exclude me larz....if not...i will be so sad....taking a module and attend its tut alone....how worse can that b?


--------------------


i kinda dunno what i should do next...am feeling abit lost...directionless....not sure if i should create chances...or let chances come by its way(if they ever come)...

is there a better way for me to know what i need to know?

i hate to wait....wait for things to happen...wait for time to pass...wait for the verdict to be announced...

stop keeping me in suspense....

not particularly in the mood to blog abt anything....esp sad matters....

all i wanna say is that i had a rather good day...and i was glad to see you even for a while....

tmr going to help out andy and ghim for rag marshal...gotta wake up damn earli...

ciaoz

i'm a qualified cyclist already!!!!

yeah!!! so happy...and what an afternoon spent at ecp...though my hands are full of blisters...my toes and left elbow bleeded due to the many splendid falls i made...but i had gladly gone thru the 3 hour plus of intensive training...i actually cycled to beyond bedok jetty!!! wat an achievement for me....

thankz craig, pj, yu, yan and jas for being there today...without you guys, i dun think i can ever master it...

oh..a few casualties today other than me...jas got hurt in her butt and her palm when she went on my blades...and i got ah yu into a collision with me...so sorry...

after the bike mastery session...we went off to meet ah cai and caidage (a new way to call kok chai coz he said kokz sounds funnie)...went seoul garden for dinner...a place that i haven't gone for ages....

dinner wasn't too bad...we had free flow meat, free flow drinks and free flow jokes...after our empty stomachs were filled...we headed home...

hitched a ride on caidage's car but got a change of plan suddenly and we (pj, me, yanz, yu and of coz our driver, caidage) went to this mini bar in SIM...halo bar or something along that line...drank abit...had some heart-to-heart talks....

i think one thing good abt alcohol is that it tends to loosen somebody up and we would tend to talk more openly...discuss about things we seldom talk abt during normal dayz....these heart-to-heart talks are always so 温馨....

and it feels real good to know that you have a bunch of frens who genuinely care for you...(right, ah yu?)....

kz...need to sleep already...

outbidded for my gem2900....301 bid pts was the min successful bid...wth...sigh~

think it's gonna be a 5-mod sem....

my butt still hurts!!! so are the open wounds....

but nothing beats my 破碎的心....lolz...hslx in progress....

shall end off with a famous quote "希望越大 失望就可能越大" - peijie the great!!!






hope that you have had a great day!!!!

happy songs really help set the chirpy mood...not particularly affected by anything today...coz it's national day...it's her 41st...a happy occasion thatz worth celebrating...even by merely staying at home...viewing the parade from the sofa...

the parade commander this year is LTC Dyason...signal...my boss during my attachment to hq armour for the wallaby trip while i was still in NS...a very nice guy...but he can't really shout out the commands the way a parade commander should...oh well...

the parade rsm is a MWO...the same indian guy that was my OC at scorpion when i was a recruit...now he should be the armour RSM bah...if i'm not wrong...i can't spell his name...so, pardon me...

anyway...this year's parade wasn't as great anymore...without the usual M16...now they carry SAR21...no longer that grand...and the way they hold and salute with SAR21 just looks so 'out'...gone were the synchronized slapping of the rifle barrel when saluting (or is the part called barrel?)...gone were the tapping of the rifle butts to the ground...

memories of my commissioning parade back then...

oh yah...gong shijia looks so gorgeous on stage...she's become more feminine...how i wish i can take another photo with her...hee


-------------------------------


ryan said he confirm who's the gal in my blog already...hmm...that doesn't really matter...coz i dun think it will go anywhere...just friends...


-------------------------------


it's amazing how pre-occupied your mind can be...just thinking abt a single person or a single thing...it simply eats into you...causing you to be so restless and tired...but today was far far better....

a friend of mine just broke off recently with her bf...(the bf also my friend for jc)...i shan't comment on relationship matters...coz i know i suck at it too...just hope that time will heal the wound and she will be fine soon...

keep being busy, gal...i guess it really helps alot, to play out any time that you may have to spare...so that you wun hslx (shorthand for 胡思乱想)...

不在意 真的不在意 因为我根本没有资格去在意

眷恋 - F.I.R

把爱深埋在记忆中 说不出口一种难过
给祝福太多 不能覆盖我的痛
你要转身你要走 不再多作停留

分开是谁说没什么 最难的决定是放手
眼中的落寞 说得都是我的错
当你笑着挥挥手 你的沉默我懂

请别说爱我 推我向晴天
最温暖的天空 却换了季节
在绝望的面前 撒落一地心碎
就算是伤悲 我不想太狼狈

请别说爱我 别许下心愿
下一秒的出现 你给的纪念
风吹过的思念 曾有过的眷恋
哭红了双眼 再让我心痛一天

went sch for the year 2 talk just now...

then...i decided to went over to src...to look for weiguang....and probably a chance to see her...i'm so stupid right? 明知见到她 我会更痛苦 但还是那么想着她...

well...i saw her afterall...but didn't think she noticed me...sigh~...

jio-ed weiguang to lunch with me...subway...and then came home to sleep...

思念 really tires me out...i wish all these could stop real soon...

anyway...matthew (my tuition kid) changed my tuition day again coz his training is pushed forward to today...argh...screwed up my schedule....if not i could be at the o-week programme until tmr (as crasher) and maybe i could see her more....=(

nvrmind....going play bball later with rick they all bah...need to confirm with him who going 1st...

chatted with her again on msn just now...maybe i shouldn't have...

i feel that i'm beginning to become too irritating...

oh man...i think i should shut myself off for now again...i dun wanna get too hurt...

okay...lets blog about the issue that i wanna write abt...

friendship...

as i was saying to yanz yesterday on the bus...i really dunno what is the force that has been holding shaggerzz together...perhaps there is no force that is really binding us together...okay gals aside...i mean the gals are, within themselves, so close...having been friends for like 10 years? and they always go shopping...manicure together...

but for us, guys...we dun really have much in common..except for the few of us...pj, kokz and me still have some common activities (mainly snooker)...but it's been awhile since i played with kokz...since he is so buzy with ndp that is going to end next wednesday...

as for the rest...i guess we are really beginning to drift apart...

okayz...craig is already part of the gals group...

taoz is hanging out more often with his christian friends these days that i hardly see him for any gathering...

jj also...looks like he's more enthu with his uni friends than us...been seeing him less lately also...and really...sometimes i find it really hard to strike a conversation with him...dunno why also...

tiongz...always making guest appearance once in a while...afterall, he's the only one in ntu now...

kokz...as i have said earlier...busy with ndp and of course...his business plan...lets hope we can go out and update each other's life soon...

pj...still meet him often for billiard and stuff...but he seldom goes out with shaggerz also le...

and even though me and pj and very good friends since sec1....we seldom talk abt serious stuff...

maybe like what yanz said...he and i are impossible friends...lolz...

perhaps we are too alike...even if we have problems...we would keep them to ourselves...unless somebody ask...we would not tell anyone about anything...


do i look like i have changed since sec sch? pple say i was quiet during my sec sch dayz...and now...i'm more noisy...i dun realy agree...i think my character has pretty much remain unchanged....

introverted...yahz...i'm a very shy guy...=)

as a matter of fact/...i think i would only be more noisy if i feel comfortable in the crowd that i'm with...dun expect me to behave noisily amongst pple i dunno...

but i'm trying to change this aspect of me...i feel that i need to be more outspoken...i should be more noisy...

okay...looks like i have digressed ...back to friendship...yah...is it really hard to maintain it? i mean, if everyone can be abit accomodating to each other...shouldn't it be a nice thing to have friends dated almost 10 years back?

practically slept my sunday away...

woke up with aches everywhere around the body...

hmm...wanted to blog about something..but suddenly lost the mood to write about it...shall put the thought on hold...wait till i feel like blogging abt the issue again...stay tuned...

J3 singing 园游会....there is a reason why i say they are the best...see it for yourself...

it's been a great day...but tiring...

first off, went ECP with guang, jinyan, dawn and qizhi...initially, they wanted me to learn bike one (yah!!! i dunno how to cycle)...but in the end...i managed to convince them to all go roller blade together...and since none of us is really pro at it...it won't be very 'xia suay'....

bladed from abt 2pm to 4:30pm...and for those in between incidents...i shan't say much about them...afterall...i'm a first timer...so many falls...landing on the bottom...and so many hilarious moments...

my bottom still hurts alot larz....and there are cuts and bruises all around...but it's really funz....saw daryl there..he looked very pro after his numerous sessions of blading bankai....then saw jenny (my sigma shifu) cycling there...and ayh...weiguang's friend is damn good at blades too...thankz for buying the drink for us, pal...

after we returned our blades...chun yen came over to join us after his hall camp...but i had to leave...to meet ah yu and ah cai to go superband finals!!!

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as for the superband finals....really...watching something like this live is quite something....you won't be able to feel the atmosphere when watching from tv...you won't automatically get high if you are not there...

as for the performance....i thought J3 was damn good...esp with their jazz "小薇"...and really...the vocals...and the entire 编曲 was unique...creative...almost magical...

迷路兵 was okay...they are as talented larz...but didn't really impress...

lucify was their usual self...always able to bring up the crowd with their j-rock....

soul wasn't really good...i never think they are good enough to be in the finals...and the fact that they got into top 2 really turned me off abit...they are good dancers, no doubt....but they really cannot sing...except maybe for one of them...

congratz to milo pengz and their fanz...but i still think J3 is the best in terms of talent and their music display...

.....


okay....i'm really really really tired...off to bed...

hope you had a great time in sch!!!

yesterday went to meet up with acqua for the 'famous' bedok 85 bar chor mee...supposed best in sg..but i find it okay only...maybe i'm not very particular about food...thatz why...

later on...we went over to alvin's house (somewhere in katong bah)...

played mahjong...watched dvd...talked cock...and went for supper...

mahjong was good...i was the sole winner that night...pocketed 30 bucks...so treated those that stayover to supper...

dunno what we were chit-chatting abt and then the freshies talked about their first impression when they saw us...they tot ryan, hongkeat and ru de were PRC pple....and i think they said i have the ah beng look (yah...i think yimin also say so)....

dammn hurting....shaggerz pple say i walk like ah beng...then now i even have the ah beng look...does that qualify me to join 'lucify'? since they also look so beng...

crapz aside...1st impression may not always be accurate...but as a matter of fact...it does count towards how you treat a person...don't you? please don't tell me you don't judge a book by its cover...the cover must be able to attract you before you explore the content right?

well...i mean this is s superficial world still....

i wanna take the risk...i wanna find the 死心的理由...

i know i have to find it before i can move on...it's always like this...but still...it must be done....

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Acts of Service:		7
Physical Touch:		7
Receiving Gifts:		4
Words of Affirmation:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

if smile can cover up my grievance...pls allow me to smile the entire day...
if laughter can erase all sad memories...pls make my laugh my heart out...

if sleep can make me forget abt anything that has happened in the past few weeks...pls put me into an eternal sleep until i decide to wake up and go on...

i think i have allowed myself to be hurt by the same thing again...

why do i 自讨苦吃? why must i keep on going thru such thing?

i really hate myself for letting me fall so easily...

i guess i can't blame any other pple than me...

but i know that when i fell...i would pick myself up and go forward again...

but i simply hate the 'falling' part

when your mind is so pre-occupied with somebody...you are in trouble...

when you send her a msg asking her something and she never reply...you know you don't have a place in her heart...you are in deeper trouble...

when you are in deeper trouble but keep sinking in...your situation is incurable...


pple who say '时间可以冲淡一切'...pls tell me how long will i have to take?

ar....the usual-wait-for-hair-to-dry time....

wat a day!

it rained in the morning...making me feel so lazy...赖床 till mid-day then finally decided to wake up...then went for a short snooker session with pj since he jio-ed....he was not on his usual form...and i was still quite lousy...man...where have all the feelings and the form gone...really hope to find them back soon....

after snooker...went home for dinner coz had been eating out quite often lately...didn't want my mum to nag...so just went home to eat lorz...and yah...my mum's soup always taste so delicious....

went tuition after dinner...a short 1.5 hours spent...afterwhich i went off to somerset to meet up with my jc friends - jinyan, dawn, qizhi and weiguang...it's been awhile since we gathered bah...went to this jap restaurant at starhub tower/building...called waraku (if i remembered correctly...)...the food is not too bad...can go try again some other time...later on..jianxiong came and we decided to go to 'loof' - a rooftop bar somewhere near city hall...(opened by some singaporean...as weiguang happily proclaimed to be...roof and loof - [the sg slang]...lolz)...

hanged out over at that place for quite some time to chit-chat...had so much fun chatting abt qizhi getting an english name....we had so many ideas...yah..whacky and funnie ones...

anyway...since some of them need to work tomorrow...we left at about 1plus...and thankz to jianxiong...it's really nice of you to offer to drive me back..even though i'm so out of the way...since i'm the only one that lives more to the west side...thankz !!!!

hmm...i think i have managed to keep myself quite occupied today...so that i wun have any free time to 胡思乱想...

hope you also had a GREAT day today!!!

asked her out for lunch just now...and she kindly accepted my invitation...though it was just a very short lunch @ LJS (lot1)...i felt happy...

maybe she's just being friendly..but i'll still thank her for coming...gave her the chocolate that is meant for her and hope she likes it...

realise that she has got single eyelids...hee...so adorable...

and she's ever so chirpy and happy...

(pj...what else you wanna know? haha)





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went for a run just now...a strange force got me going all the way to ten mile junction (though i stopped and walked at times)...initially wanted to take the woodlands road and then stagmont ring back...but realised that there is no pavement for pple and i would have to run with the flow of the traffic...and the cars are quite fast there...so, i had a change of plan and took almost the same route on the return....tired? yes...but i like the feeling...i can more or less feel that i will have difficulty walking tmr but still...GOOD RUN, zhansheng!!!! *tap on my own shoulder....

oppz...i did something daring again...(or at least...for me...it's daring...)

ain't bearing much hope...so i feel slightly relaxed at the moment...

i'm ready to accept whatever reply...i guess i just wanna get it over and done with...

choc is the 1st thing i ate in the morning...

you are the 1st person i think of when i wake up...

when will all these stop?

my tuition kid fell sick today...and so...i ended up alone shopping @ suntec...and guess what...spent so much money...went for a mini shopping for chocz and bought F.I.R'z album...Faye looks super beautiful!!!

went on to holland v to meet up with acqua for dinner...the XO fish noodle and the 5大名菜...so freaking ex and not filling at all...

ha...then we went to ACS independent...where Matt stays...he is one amazing kid larz...father is some big figure...and he can roam around free in ACS...how shiok...anyway...we settle at enormous staff lounge that got all too comfortable for us...played the usual games - indian poker...polar bear...and not forgetting the route to finals...




















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a pity that i didn't see you today...but i'm not at all disappointed...i guess when i don't bear so much hope...i wouldn't get too diappointed either...words of wisdom for the good, old capricorn (right? peijie)...

i think i'm a firm believer in fate...though i always say that fate is just chance created...most of the time...i still leave it to its natural course...