life's playing a prank on me...

life really likes to play prank on me...

just when i was at my least alert...just when i let down my guard...just when i least expected it...she walked thru the door...

only then...that i realized how little have we reduced to...to see and just force a smile...to pretend not to see...i dunno what exactly happened...i dunno how it happened...

but all there's left for me...were just sorrows and pity...pity for how things are right now already...

i think i still do care alot for her...but i dunno how to...and i actually dun really want to...coz i know she will do fine...very much better than i would myself...

and i think i still could not bring myself to face her...not becoz of something i had done...but becoz things are just not the same anymore...i can't pretend that nothing happened...coz every word i said then was genuine...

and the words she said to a friend (me) ...still kinda hurt me even till now...though she might nvr realize...i was very hurt....

i have a weak heart...i dun think i can take too much of such emotional rollercoaster....emotional turmoil anymore...i might just die young from unhappiness and misery...i might collapse with a punctured heart...

so it's better that i stay faraway...that she stops appearing in my life...that she doesn't catch me when i am least expecting an encounter....that i dun have to face her...that i dun have to pretend not to care when i actually care soo much...