wonder why do i stay up every single night till 1-2am...staring at my comp blankly while i let the songs run out...

can't find a reason...perhaps a chance of you appearing online in my msn list is all i need...i am how foolish...i know!! i know everything about myself...the only thing i dunno is how to control myself and prevent me from hslx-ing (a.k.a 胡思乱想ing)...


fell asleep while on the sofa watching 百万宝 just now...i'm feeling tired....having spent the entire day outside...

i'm silly to be expecting a reply sms from you since last night...

a question asked is meant to be answered...it's just not too polite to totally ignore it...i'm slightly angry...but of course...more of disappointment...

i guess it can't be help...

i really needa let go...though i know i can't totally...

coz sub-consciously...i still dun want to give up totally...

i know the only way to stop all these is to confess and get an answer...but i'm afraid to know the truth...i'm not ready to face the consequence...the entire awkwardness...the possibility of losing you as my friend completely...

sigh...all that i can pray for now...is to hope that you are well...

and time & work will deplete my memory capacity of you....it's gonna be this way...


was talking to ru de the other day...he said that if he was me...he would just tell...and no matter wat the outcome...he would hope the friendship is maintained...perhaps him and me are very different when it comes relationships...i'm not someone that take up and let go easily...once i decided to cross the line for a chance of being more than friends...i would find it hard to come back...so, i would rather not tell so as to not sink too deep...as i know i would need to get myself back floating normally again in the vast sea of emotions...


jialiang said my blog is emotional...haha...well...it's not called my emotion dumping ground for nothing....those things that i kept in my heart and which i decided have no other places to go will come here...so pple who are kpo about me are warmly welcomed here...but most of the things mentioned in my blog will stay in the blog...not ready to discuss anything that i mention here openly upfront...call it 逃避 if you want...but thatz the best that i can do for myself...

5 nights....

gotta start tuning my body clock back to study dayz...sigh...wun be waiting all nights for nothing anymore...smart zs gotta act smart when it comes to emotions too!
=)


S.H.E concert on 27th jan (sat)...148 bucks tickets are all sold out! (sigh~)....would you be interested to watch the concert with me? should i ask?

but you didn't reply my last msg...i feel discouraged to msg you again...i dun wanna be a nuisance...really....just wanna tell you that i'm here still...but getting tired and restless...preparing to move on...without you but thatz not my desire...i have no options to choose from....